Chapter 19

Tatsu wasn’t there the next time Seka heard his master’s heavy steps in the stairs and he was glad he wasn’t. He knew why Lord Medora came this time and that he would probably break down at some point and he didn’t want Tatsu to see that. Medora didn’t say a word to him as he entered, he stepped up to the bed and simply grabbed him by the shoulder turning him on his belly and clawing the bedcover out of the way so he could get to unlock the chain at his waist. "Are you coming voluntarily or do I have to tie you up and carry you down?" Medora said. Seka slowly turned to sit up in the bed. "No, please… I’ll come…" An annoyed frown. "Then come!" "Please Master… not naked…" "Don’t start that again. Half of the people here run around half-naked, who cares? Don’t annoy me or I’ll let them do worse things to you." So he went. Lord Medora lead him through rarely used backstairs and empty corridors and he didn’t know if it was to spare him the humiliation of being stared at, he really didn’t know where they were going. The Quarters was a damn maze but after a while he knew where they were and the cold lump in his stomach grew and it wasn’t because there were more people around here. It was because he knew that little outhouse on this particular backyard. He had been here once before. Medora had taken him there to see a young boy being cut. Seka stopped dead in his tracks; he couldn’t go in there. He thought he was going to faint and grabbed at a pillar holding up an old balcony to steady him self. Had he really lied to him? He thought he was going to throw up. Lord Medora had almost reached the building before he discovered Seka wasn’t with him anymore and he didn’t look happy as he came back to get him. "I’m warning you, don’t make trouble," he growled as he tore at his arm to make him let go of the pillar. Seka was crying now. "I’m not… I’ll obey Master… but… you said… you promised you weren’t going to…" He was whispering. There were people on the yard; they were looking at them. Seka did not want to talk back in front of other people. That wouldn’t make his master any happier. Medora pulled him closer to whisper too. "They are using that building for much more than castration you stupid fool. I said infibulation and that’s all that’s going to happen to you. You think I would bother to lie about something like that? If I wanted you cut I wouldn’t need to trick you. It’s not like you can do anything about it, no matter if I tell you or not. Now shut up and go over there you coward!" So he did follow obediently, feeling a little bit better, what his master said made sense. Why would he lie? But as they got indoors every sensible thought was shocked right out of his head and he stopped in the door and gasped loudly. He had forgot about this… about the audience. It was a damn spectacle for people to gawk at and amuse themselves with. It had always been like that Medora had told him as he had taken him to see the castration that time. There was always a curious crowd in here wanting to see boys being deprived of their manhood. It was a show, something to do on a boring day… He knew that, had been a part of it, if not of his own choice but he had somehow managed to totally repress that fact. Now as he was face to face with it and couldn’t deny that fact anymore he panicked. The images of the shield and the dragon of soldiers outside the city wall, their roar as he was lifted up as a sacrifice to them. The hateful faces of hundreds and hundreds of strangers in the streets wanting him hurt and killed. Images that he never let up to the surface when he was awake but that attacked him still in his sleep now and then years after it had happened. Those images now flashed before him. And he knew that Medora would have to knock him unconscious to get him to spread his limbs to be tied to that crude table in front all of these people. Medora would have to kill him; he would refuse… But he also knew he would have no choice and that Lord Medora didn’t need to knock him out. He was too weak to be able to resist them. So he fled… He simply turned and ran, didn’t stop one second to think of the consequences, didn’t care about them. The only thing he knew was that he had to get away at any cost. He didn’t get very far. There was a group of people on their way inside as he dashed out the door and he bumped into them. They seemed to get the picture right away. A naked boy running out of this building with a look of sheer panic in his eyes... They all grabbed at him and laughed at his frantic squirming and his attempts to fight them off. But he was soon ripped out of their hands and heard his master’s voice. "Thanks for catching him but there’s no use in you coming inside, it’s full." The men that had caught him murmured in disappointment but turned and left. Seka was still squirming but Medora held him good and he couldn’t get away and was being dragged inside again. His master seemed deaf towards his sobs and pleadings and finally told him he would have him gagged if he didn’t shut up. Inside Medora stopped at the middle of the room still holding Seka in a hard grip. "All right," he shouted, "listen to me all of you!" There was a lot of chit chatting going on and no one noticed the Lord talking at first but after a few more demands for attention the room slowly fell silent and one after another stopped the small talk and turned to curiously await what the man wanted. "Get out!" Medora growled, "all of you." There was total silence and no one moved or said a word. "Didn’t you hear what I said? Get out!" People looked at each other, shrugged and whispered and turned to look at the lord again. They heard him all right but he couldn’t be serious. This was a public place, that man couldn’t order anyone out of here. It seemed he thought he could. "Get out!" he repeated, a roar this time. Now those who wasn’t still caught in their surprise started to get annoyed and scattered comments was heard. Who did he think he was? He couldn’t order them about. They were free men and not slaves. Rich men… thought they could get away with anything. But then other comments were heard too. They knew who he was, a war hero, a real veteran, killed hundreds and hundreds, they had heard. Maybe not someone that you would want holding a personal grudge against you. And rich and noble people really did get away with things, unfair but true never the same. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen it before anyway. Besides they had heard this wasn’t going to be a castration but only an infibulation, nothing interesting about that… Seka watched in amazement how people started to leave one after another until suddenly the room was empty apart from his master, the man that was going to do the infibulation and him self. He had understood. Lord Medora had understood what really scared him and he had done something about it. Even at the risk of making enemies. Seka couldn’t believe it. Medora shoved him against the table and let go of him. "I don’t want a single word of complaint out of you now. You sit up on that table and spread your legs for this man and let him do his job, do you understand?" Seka nodded and slowly he sat down at the edge opened his legs wide and laid down covering his eyes with his hands so they wouldn’t see his tears. The man with the knives and the needles grabbed at his wrists to tie him down but Medora stopped him. "No need for that, he will not move a muscle, now will you slave?" Seka agreed and he wouldn’t. How could he now that his master had done this for him? Seka cried at the humiliation of it. Somehow Medora had managed to get him to co-operate in his own infibulation and later he would probably laugh about it with his friends, how he had managed to tame that freeborn slave so well that he didn’t even have to tie him up for something like this. He wasn’t going to move but he still flinched and startled as the man grabbed at his genitals and felt them up pretty thoroughly. He knew somehow that the man didn’t do that out of any necessity but because it amused him. He sobbed and pressed his hands harder to his eyes. Only three men had ever touched him there, he had not wanted it to be more. He wasn’t really aware of what the man was actually doing. He had got the procedure described to him a few times by some of the prostitutes but he had never actually seen it. He pulled and squeezed and though it didn’t really hurt it was damn unpleasant. Then there was a sharp and short pain and more pulling, another sting and more pulling and then the most awful sting and a jerk at his whole package that made him whimper. "There," the man said, "done! Nothing to it, doesn’t hurt much and only takes a few minutes, never could see what the damn fuzz is about." Yes, what was the fuzz about? Seka stared at his own groin in morbid fascination at the same time as he fought the nauseating feeling of total humiliation. He now understood the genius of the contraption. His foreskin had been pulled forward as long as it could go and two holes now punctuated it, shiny metal wires, silver perhaps, was threaded through them and then wound around his cock in a fishnet pattern. Lifting the whole thing carefully he could see with a surge of queasy dizziness that the needle had also been driven straight through the skin of his scrotum. And the ends of the wires netting up his cock had been threaded through that hole too and been fastened under the pouch. He slowly realized the consequences of this. He could get no erection, not enough to penetrate anyone at any rate and he would have to sit down to piss hereafter. He was all weak knees and stunned silence as his master lead him back to his private room. >>> * <<< Lord Medora had let him rest for a while, had allowed him the mercy of getting himself together a bit but then he had thrown a blanket at him to cover himself up in and told him they were going home. Seka obeyed without a word. He tried desperately to try and not think about that he would maybe be forced to wear this for the rest of his life. Almost out of The Quarters Tatsu was suddenly standing in the door they were going to go through. Tatsu bowed deeply and held up the door for them. He was pale and shaky. Looked as if he was going to cry. Seka had stiffened at the sight of him. Where had he been during all of this? Had he followed them before too? Had he seen it? He had obviously followed them now and been taking a short cut to cut them off at the door leading out on the streets. The stupid fool, Seka thought and managed somehow to keep a look of total indifference even though he could feel how Tatsu searched his eyes. Tatsu just wanted a last look, just wanted Seka to cast a swift look at him and they would both know that it was saying goodbye and had to suffice for a kiss and an embrace and a promise to meet soon again. Seka understood that that was what Tatsu wanted but he dared not give it to him. Seka could very well imagine Tatsu’s pain as he was being lead pass him and out onto the street. He could feel his stare at his back. It seemed Lord Medora could feel it too. He suddenly stopped and turned to look at the disfigured slave still standing in the door. Seka saw Tatsu lower his eyes in an instant and closing the door even faster but he knew that his master had seen something because the grip of his arm tightened considerably and there was an expression on his master’s face as a mix of anger and suspicion. But it went away and they walked home. >>> * <<< "Show me!" she said and he couldn’t obey. Not that he wanted to disobey her, but he couldn’t do that. He held the blanket in a tighter grip and backed away. She stepped up to him and grabbed at the blanket trying to rip it from him; he refused to let go. It was a tug o’ war that he couldn’t win. He supposed physically he might be a tad stronger than Lady Erennis might be but her presence only made him weak… body and mind. And he really tried to keep that blanket, really tried to uphold a pathetic and sorry remain of dignity but in the end she gave it a forceful and sudden tug and he lost the grip and was naked before her. He acted with the speed of profound shame then and turned to press himself into a corner, his back to her, shaking his head to spread his hair out, trying to cover himself up in that instead. Lady Erennis would not let him get away with it of course. He winced as he felt her hand grab at his hair and had no choice but to comply and follow as she pulled at it. "How dare you disobey me," she growled, "I ought to have you flogged." He believed she would that much that he gave up and stood still where she placed him hiding his glowing face under a curtain of hair, thankful now of its length and thickness no matter how annoying it usually might be. He wanted so much to put his hands in front his shame but he knew that would only make her angrier, he put them on his back and tried to let one hand keep the other from covering himself up. For a moment there was silence as he could feel her stare but then she suddenly burst out in laughter. She was practically doubling over with it and it took several minutes for her to gather enough to be able to say a single word. Seka would have preferred she had beaten him up. The infibulation had really not been necessary he thought. She was afraid he would use his cock? Well she could only have laughed at him like that a few times now and then, and it would have shrunk enough not to be of any use "Oh my…" she pressed out wiping at her eyes, "that’s just pathetic, really, the sorriest sight I’ve seen for a long time. I actually doubt he could have done that much damage with that thing even before… all right, he can stay if for nothing else than to have given me a real good laugh." She gave her husband a peck on the cheek as she left the room and Seka could hear her laughing still as she went. >>> * <<< Lord Medora had been merciful enough to let him have the blanket back as he lead him up to his rooms. They passed several of the households slaves on the way and Seka refused to meet anyone’s eyes but he could feel theirs on him and knew that they all knew. Oh it was going to be so fun to go back to the kitchens now. It turned out that that humiliation would be spared him. Medora took him into his small sitting room and had him kneel on the floor in front him while he reclined comfortably in a chair. "Things happened here while we were away," he said, "my body slave died." Seka felt cold. That nice old man was dead? Well, he had been really old so he guessed it wasn’t strange but he felt sad at that piece of news anyway. The old man had been nice, didn’t talk much, quite shy and thoroughly subdued Seka supposed but he had talked a little to him now and then and he had never said anything mean to him. Not even when he had come into his master’s bedroom in the morning to find Seka naked on the bed, smeared in various bodily juices… Maybe he had been used to it. Medora must have had other boys before him. Seka knew that old man had served Medora since he had been a boy. That slave must have been around for most of Medora’s life and now he spoke of him as if he had been a tool that broke. He didn’t even say his name; his ‘body slave’ had died… Seka wondered if that was written on the poor old man’s headstone. But then he might not have gotten one. Seka realized that he had no idea where they put dead slaves here, did they even get a real burial? Some kind of superstitious fear gripped him at the thought of being thrown in an unmarked hole in the ground… headless! A catamite’s skull was a sought after thing after all. If that wouldn’t make him into a ghost he didn’t know what would. Well, if he had any say in it he knew whom to haunt… "You will take over his duties," his master said waking him up from his musings. "Me?" "I think that would be the natural choice, yes. You already serve me in a similar fashion, you just have to learn a few more chores… but that is not the only thing that will change around here." Seka froze at the tone of his master’s voice. "I talked to my Dear wife earlier and she kind of scolded me… Well, I didn’t marry her only for her beauty. I wanted a woman who had a head on her shoulders, who would know how to run a noble house in a proper way. To then ignore what she has to say wouldn’t be very logic, would it? And she tells me I have been spoiling you, she tells me that I am letting you be far too familiar with Azrel and me. She is not at all happy about Azrel using you at all for that matter. She thinks I am letting you get away with things and that you have an attitude… something in your eyes, she says. Well, I found myself quite unable to contradict her…" Seka held his breath. "In short, she’s right! I have been spoiling you. Well, no more of that!" Seka couldn’t believe what he was hearing. "Don’t worry, you will remain in my service and you will get out of the kitchens so I suppose that’s sort of raising you up a bit but I will make very sure that it doesn’t get to your head. Things will be different around here." Seka couldn’t imagine how his master could be any stricter with him and what had he done to deserve this anyway? Oh, he had been rebellious with Tatsu but Medora didn’t know about that… did he? No it couldn’t be about that, he would be much angrier then. No this must all be Lady Erennis’s doing. "First of all I have let you speak much to freely so from now on you might just as well not speak at all. Do you hear that? No talking from now on!" Seka gasped. How could he never talk? That was impossible. "But… but if I… have to ask something or…" "Have to ask something? Why would you need to ask something? All a slave needs to know are his duties and you should know them already. You’re not stupid, it should be enough for me to show you new duties once and I expect you to understand it and remember it. There’s no reason for you to ask anything at all. You want to ask me for privileges? If I think you should have any I would give them to you anyway, you don’t ask for it. And if I tell you to do something, you do it. And if I tell you not to do something, you don’t. So there really is no reason for you to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ either, is there? And if I think you should be punished for something, do you think anything you have to say would make me change my mind? No? Then there’s no reason for you to beg or whine either, is there? As a matter of fact I can’t find a single reason for why I couldn’t just as well sew your mouth shut." Seka gasped at that, eyes widening in fear. It seemed a not so unlikely threat to him at the moment having had other body parts neatly sewed up recently. Medora grinned. "I won’t do that, you couldn’t suck me then, could you? And it would really be a shame to put such a skilled mouth out of use. But that’s the only use you will have for it from now on. I don’t want to hear a single word spoken from you unless I specifically tell you to speak. Do you understand this?" Seka nodded in some sort of shock. How could he never speak? What would he do if anyone else spoke to him? It would seem rather rude to not answer and he couldn’t even explain then that he wasn’t allowed to speak. And Azrel… he would most surely trick him to disobey that order pretty quickly. Azrel was quite talkative. Nothing of this, however, would be a problem he soon understood. "Second… I have let you move around much too freely too. I should never have let Azrel talk me into giving you that horse and I shouldn’t let you loose in The Quarters like I have. You’re not here to play around. From now on you don’t leave these rooms." Seka’s eyes widened even more. He had thought Medora would order him not to leave the house, which he by all means never did on his own anyway, the streets still scared him, but to not leave these rooms..." "Yes, you heard me. You have the free use of this sitting room, of your own room and of my private bathroom. If you need fresh air feel free to go out on the balcony any time you want. My library you stay out of! And my bedroom you enter and leave at my order. That’s all, you put as much as a toe in any other place in this house I will chop it off. Understand?" Seka felt like crying. Medora wouldn’t even let him go out in the garden? He didn’t dare ask. Better take any order literally. He nodded again. "I won’t drag you around as I have before either. You don’t do me much good anyway, looking all sulky and sour as a lemon all the time. God, sometimes I really think that beauty is wasted on you… whatever, I might take you with me on special occasions but it won’t be often, believe me, and you won’t be allowed to leave my private room at The Quarters either…" His master silenced suddenly and leaned over him. "Because I am not all too sure that I trust you these days. You do know what I would do to you if I ever found out you’ve been with other men, don’t you?" Seka hoped that him being all frozen up with horror at those words would be interpreted as innocence or he would be dead meat. He thought he nodded at that but he wasn’t sure. He suspected something, didn’t he? He must suspect something though it must be more of a gut feeling rather than a real suspicion because Seka didn’t think Medora thought he would need a clear proof to punish him. No, he couldn’t know, it was impossible. No one knew. Tatsu and him had both been careful. No one knew and he would be a fool to unveil the secret now from sheer paranoia. He must act as if he didn’t know what his master was talking about. It wasn’t only about him getting punished. It was about Tatsu getting to live on or not. He nodded again and Medora seemed satisfied with that leaning back in the chair again. "Yes, you’re not stupid, you know… though I would be inclined to blame Azrel if it happened. Azrel is the one who really has been spoiling you. And, I fear, taught you to like it a bit too much, hasn’t he? I don’t blame him, he’s young, he wants playmates and he’s a good boy, doesn’t want to be mean to anyone… Well, I never really meant to share you with him. He wanted to try it and that was really all it should have been, for him to try it out… But then… I simply never got around to tell him when enough was enough. Well, I have now. I talked to Azrel earlier and forbade him any further use of you. From now on you will not see my son at all." Seka thought this was the only change presented to him so far that he could actually live with. Hadn’t he wished to be rid of Azrel so many times? Seka didn’t want to agree that Azrel had spoiled him though, did his master know how he’d used to tie him up? And had Azrel made him like having sex with men? That sounded totally crazy. But maybe he had? He didn’t enjoy it with Azrel but then again, he had taught him things, had he not? And later when he had been with Tatsu he had suddenly found himself enjoying a lot of those things. Tatsu was right, it really wasn’t the sex. It was with whom and how… "And last," Medora said, "Since you are not to leave these rooms there is really no need for you to wear clothes from now on either." He grinned widely abandoning his strict looks for a few seconds. "I’ve always liked the sight of that little pale body of yours, no reason to deprive myself of that pleasure. I like the jewelry though, you wear as much of that as you like but if I ever see anything made of fabric on you I will tear it to pieces. Well, that was all. Now, I’ve more important things to take care of. You will take over his old room; you know where it is, go and get settled in. When I’ll return later I will show you what you need to know." Lord Medora left and Seka remained kneeling on the floor, hugging the blanket, for a long time. Muted, caged inside the walls of these rooms, naked and as good as neutered… Seka couldn’t find one reason to why he should keep insisting on that he was human even to himself. >>> * <<< Seka had hoped all these new rules would only be an empty threat, or at least not so harshly meant. Or at least that his master would ease up on them after a short while when he saw that he intended to obey them as well as he could. No such luck. Seka thought that maybe Lady Erennis had touched some sore spot in her husband when she had ‘scolded’ him as Lord Medora had put it. Seka remembered that Tatsu had thought that Medora was in love with him. Pure nonsense Seka had thought and he still thought so. But maybe Medora was still a bit fonder of his catamite than he should be? After all, he had gone through a lot of trouble bringing him here and keeping him here against his wife’s will. And it was strange that he didn’t want to let anyone else touch him, he understood that now. And he had given him privileges and treated him in a way that maybe was a bit too familiar, at least sometimes. And then there was the fact of his age. He was too old, Medora had often enough showed his interest lay in much younger boys really, still he kept him, year after year… Seka thought that maybe his master really enjoyed him, his body anyway and maybe his company too. Maybe because he was beautiful like everybody said he was, maybe because he looked younger than he was and for being small for his age? Maybe because him being born free made him different from other boys Medora could have had? He didn’t know the reason but he thought that Medora was maybe ashamed about enjoying him so much and that that shame would now and then make him act mean to him. As if he wanted to prove to himself that that simple slave meant nothing to him. It seemed that Lady Medora had made him feel really self-conscious about it this time. His master did not ease up on him. Lord Medora had brought up a horsewhip to his rooms putting it on a small sideboard and Seka soon learned it wasn’t put there for decoration. After letting his tongue slip a few times and getting a few really stinging lashes from that horrible thing for the disobedience of speaking it was suddenly much easier to keep quiet. At least in his master’s presence. As soon as the rooms were empty he started talking to himself. He just had to. He learned the new chores soon enough, there was nothing to it and it wasn’t hard work. He didn’t even have to clean anything up in here. Maids were sent up to take care of such things. He had never thought he would be happy to see any of the other slaves in this house before but now he found himself counting the hours until they would come just so that he could see someone else than Lord Medora. At first he had hid in the other rooms as they came to hide his shameful nakedness from them but soon enough he got so starved for human company that he didn’t care about it anymore. It wasn’t like everybody didn’t know already. At first he had tried to talk to them. He thought he could even stand being taunted by them if only someone would talk to him. Lord Medora seemed to have put the same restriction of silence on himself too when he was in here. He didn’t say a word to him that wasn’t an absolute necessity. But the maids ignored him too and pretended to not hear when he spoke to them. He lost it one day and shouted at them, yelled curses and obscenities at them to make them react towards him. Finally one of the girls did, she turned to him all flustered and angry eyes and opened her mouth, undoubtedly, to yell back at him. But the other one gave her one upside the head and reminded her of what they had been told. So that way he at least got to know that Medora had ordered the rest of the slaves to consider him non-existent. He hadn’t thought it possible for anyone to be so utterly bored. Every day in here was the exact twin of the day before and he needed no fortuneteller to tell him what tomorrow would be like. How had his predecessor endured being cooped up in these rooms all those years? He must have died from pure boredom. If his master intended for him to spend the rest of his life like this he didn’t think he could stand it in the long run… he would kill himself, somehow. He actually missed the kitchens. He had not liked that kind of work but now he would give anything to do the dirtiest jobs just so that he could have something to fill his days with. Being forced not to work was an effective punishment in the long run he realized. And at least in the kitchens he had heard the others talk of things that went on even if they seldom talked directly to him. In here he was completely shut out from everything. The outside world might as well not exist to him at all. He missed things. He missed Tatsu’s friendship so much that he forced himself not to even think about it, the loss of his only true friend hurt that much. Some were things he never would have thought he would miss. He missed Azrel; at least things happened when he had been forced to serve him. Seka had never been sure what and that had made him stressed and nervous but now he remembered days at the country estate and thought that Azrel at least knew how to make things interesting. And he had been nice sometimes, yes really nice Seka thought comparing it to Medora’s sudden and stubborn and total coldness. He missed The Quarters too. Apart from the dirty old men (that he should be happy he didn’t have to serve) he had had a lot of fun there, hadn’t he? He had never really believed that Medora wouldn’t bring him to the brothels anymore but now there had already been several times that his master came home in the early morning hours smelling of hashish and sex… He really wasn’t being brought anymore. And the only time something happened at all in these cursed rooms was when his master ordered him into bed but the sex had changed too. It occurred to Seka that his master had used him in many different ways and that Medora always had been a bit strict in bed. But there had been times when he had almost made love to him, there were times that he had bothered to coax him into bed and treated him tenderly afterwards. There had been times that he had been rough too and a few times sex had been a mere punishment, meant to put him in his place. Whatever, it had never been cold. He had thought it had been but now he knew that Lord Medora had never been cold with him before. He was now. He was ordered into the bedroom to assume the only position that Medora had told him was now allowed him, his master emptied himself without a word and then threw him out. That was the extent of it these days. He didn’t understand how that could please his master. It must be as boring for him as well, it must be more of a pleasure to use his hand. But then, the order came more seldom as the weeks passed, so it seemed his master didn’t enjoy it much. And he could have crawled in the dirt for a single friendly word. To get to hear he was pretty and had wonderful hair like he’d used to say, for a measly embrace like he’d used to give him, even for a sign of that selfish pleasure his master had used to indulge in, in using him. Nothing… He did crawl in the dirt. If Lady Erennis had wanted to make him more subdued, it worked. She should come here and watch him Seka thought bitterly. Seka remembered promising himself when they were still in the war camp years ago that he would chose to stay alive and so chose submission. He had known that he must make that choice for life and that he must made it into more than just a show or he wouldn’t survive. And he had thought he had learned to live with it. He knew now as he crawled at Medora’s feet that he was now silently begging for the slavery that he had deep inside bitterly hated all these years. He had thought he was being true to his choice, he hadn’t. He had, in fact, fought it vehemently… in his own way. He didn’t fight anymore. >>> * <<< About three months after Medora had taken him to his rooms there was no more of that sort of fight in him. Medora didn’t have to use the whip anymore. He kept quiet now not because he had been ordered to but because he had nothing to say anymore. He didn’t even think all that much anymore, there was nothing new happening to refill any thoughts. Going up in the mornings and perform the few chores he was told to perform was an automatic thing. There was no point or meaning to any of his movements other than to avoid the painful punishments of not doing it. There was no point or meaning to his life on the whole. Nothing to hope for, nothing to look forward to, no changes to expect so he obeyed automatically and had no other reason to anything he did. All empty hours between chores, and they were many and long, were spent lying on his bed staring apathetically into nothing. If he was lucky he fell asleep. There was only one single thing that actually made him act out of his own accord now and then and that was the tiny shred of hope still lingering after all, that Medora would give him some sort of attention, any sort… He only wanted a friendly word or a look, which wasn’t totally devoid of feelings. Sometimes he thought he could detect a trace of it in his master’s eyes and for that he tried anything to show how good he could be, how very, very submissive he could be. But he got less and less of a chance to prove it. Medora spent less and less time in his rooms. Often he only came to sleep. Maybe he was very busy? Maybe he was bored with him? After all, it must be boring in a way to have such a very perfect slave around. He was a good servant now but for other ‘things’ Medora had surely grown tired of him. It struck him that maybe he wasn’t a catamite anymore but simply the successor of the old man that had been Lord Medora’s body slave. And so he too would grow old in here and die in here…

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