Chapter 13

Things changed… and things stayed the same. He was always tired, always! Lord Medora may have been in his 40s but he didn’t seem to lack any sexual energy from it. He sent for him quite often and when he didn’t, his son did. Seka sometimes wondered if they had worked out some damn schedule not to get him on the same night. He felt almost all the time sore all over and embarrassingly… stretched out. He wished there were someone to ask if that could indeed happen. If he could get so stretched and so well used that his muscles in that area wouldn’t close again. And he didn’t want to think about what that would mean. But he was too shy to ask even the more well-used boys at the quarters. He really wished they would let him be a for a week or two now and then but when they did send for him he was happy about it anyway just because getting out of the kitchen for a while. He wouldn’t dare complain about it. Not now when the other slaves did not treat him that overtly bad anymore but he was so damn lonely among the slaves of the house and he had to work so damn hard. He thought they ought to know that servicing Lord Medora and his son wasn’t exactly about just "being lazy between the sheets" like Lady Medora once had put it. They ought to give him some time to rest between those sessions, but no… So, he was tired, always tired and his eyes had these dark shadows under them and he looked into that mirror in his little sleeping quarters and thought it strange that he managed to instill such lust in the men of this house looking so weary. He felt empty and weak and strangely dried up or sucked out. The Lord drank his youth like a fine wine, he thought. And the son… well he had plenty of youth and energy of his own and a hell of a lot of playful ideas. He wasn’t sure which of the two men he preferred, or felt less bad about. With Medora things were so much simpler. He was the one that had tamed him and he had learned well by now what his master wanted from him and as long as he did what he was supposed to do he was mostly good to him. Though Medora now and then seemed to think that relieving irritation and a bad mood with sex was a good idea and those nights were not very nice. It wasn’t like he used to beat him then but he would be pretty rough and rather condescending. At such nights he usually didn’t waste any words on him though but it was more something that he could sense from the big man. At such nights he would feel more like an inanimate object than usual and it made him feel uneasy for days afterwards. Azrel on the other hand was more complicated to serve by far. Azrel had a thousand and one moods it seemed and he was never able to tell which mood he might be in stepping over his threshold. Azrel was seldom outright mean to him either but it made him damn nervous always having to try and figure out how to behave not to make the impatient and spontaneous boy angry with him. And Azrel demanded so much of him. Demanded his co-operation, demanded he had "fun". Demanded he smile. He tried but it seemed sometimes the most difficult order he ever had had to follow and he could never understand why that boy always took it personally when he failed to be cheerful and enjoy his games. Though sometimes he had to admit that he to some extent did enjoy what Azrel had him do or did to him. Not so much that he would have chosen it had he had a choice at all. No, not like that. But he couldn't deny that Azrel seldom did anything to him that hurt and that his body did react to the stimulation. He had felt much shame about that at first but Azrel had in a way pushed him over some kind of mental border. And once over that border it became easier to deny the shame and just let that damn body of his react any way it wanted too. It made Azrel child-like pleased when he did react to it and wasn’t that his only reason for even living, to please his betters? It was just bodily reactions anyway he told himself. He sometimes eventually spurted when Azrel fondled him or had him fondling himself (and that had been another border to be forced across) or when Azrel thrust himself into him at the right angle and bothered to wait him in. He came, so what? It was just his body. He told himself he let neither his heart nor his mind in on it. Azrel liked playing many games. And ever since that day in the cherry grove his favorite one seemed to be to tie him up. In the beginning it had scared the hell out of him. He did not connect anything good with ropes or chains, with being immobilized and restrained. He had been bound many times since taken as a slave and not a single one of those situations had had anything to do with fun. He’d been chained like a dog to stop him from running away and as a mean to belittle him and as an aid in taming him. He’d been tied to that horrible shield (he was quite sure he would never really get over it, he still had nightmares about it now and then) And Lord Medora had tied him up to steal his virginity from him in a dark sea of mind-shattering pain. But Azrel had snapped those silk ropes in his face with a smile like a mischievous demon and called it "a game". Well, to him maybe. Of course he found it fun being in such total control of him, as if he wasn’t totally helpless to his every whim anyway. But strangely enough he had slowly grown to like it. It confused him greatly at first but after much brooding he came to the startling conclusion that it simply felt good not having to be able to do a damn thing. Being trussed up and fucked there was no demands on him. None at all. He just had to be there and take it. He could be blamed for nothing. He even grew to like Azrel gagging him so that he couldn’t be forced to smile or say he liked it either. Once he managed to get over the fears of being mistreated or hurt while bound it really wasn’t so bad. Azrel was never ever rough when he was tied up, on the contrary he seemed to want to compensate it by being more gentle than usual. So when he didn’t have to be so scared about it anymore he realized that it was never so easy to just being able to float away in his own mind and not care what happened to him as when he was neatly bound and restrained. He wasn’t totally relaxed during these games. It was still a bit scary to be so helpless but then again when wasn’t he helpless? He may not be physically restrained all the time but being a slave in it self meant you were never really safe so what damn difference did it make? And he did recognize it as being humiliating but what part of his life wasn’t? Azrel had his moments of… could it be care? Whatever it was, he had once asked him if being tied up in bed was very hard on him and that maybe he wouldn’t do it so often if it made him feel very bad. He had told Azrel then that he didn’t mind… Azrel’s damn games had nearly put him in a difficult situation though. It had made him careless about controlling himself. And so one night with the lord he had lost control and spurted. It had been one of those nights when Medora had been in a bad mood, so he had been a little rough. And he had held him in a way that rendered him about as helpless as when Azrel tied him up and he had been thrusting in just the right angle to stroke that strange spot inside of him mercilessly. And he had let himself float away in a way he normally didn’t do when used by his true master. It had never happened before. Medora had been as surprised with seeing that seed shot out as Seka had been releasing it. He had spun him around and pressed him onto his back on the bed with a strong hand clenched around his jaw and the look in his eyes had made Seka want to beg for his life. Lord Medora had never mentioned if he was forbidden to do that or not in his presence though Seka had, even though he knew Medora didn’t exactly want him to suffer, understood instinctively that he was strict on one thing. His needs came first. Seka had no right getting anything out of it for his own sake other than as a mere granted occasional "gift" from his master. And it mostly just meant that Medora would be a bit gentler now and then and maybe spare him the throat fucking. He had been ashamed, embarrassed and very sure that he would get punished for it so he had simply burst out crying. His tears had made Medora’s anger go away though. He had let go of him and told him it didn’t matter but that he preferred if he in the future would not soil his bed. So now he knew. He was not allowed to come in his master’s presence and since that very painfully embarrassing night he had made damn sure he wouldn’t let go like that again. It was a very stressful situation to be in, to having do his best to let go on one night and on the other remember to be in full control of his bodily functions. He felt like he had to be two different persons. >>> * <<< The sun was about to set and sank slowly between the towers of the great city wall as they walked to the quarters. Medora visited this part of the city about once or twice a month. Seka was always with him when he did. A few times Azrel had accompanied them too but not very often. Seka had thought at first that Lord Medora must be a man who was bottomless when it came to engulfing pleasures. Between his wife, himself and the whores at the quarters it seemed he must have very little time for anything else than games of the flesh. But he soon learned it wasn’t really so. There was much more than just mindless fun going on at the quarters. A lot of business and political affairs were discussed, treated and dealt with there. The rich and powerful men coming here had much more in mind than just drinking and fucking. And many nights were spent only in Lord Medora’s or some other rich man’s private rooms and all they did was talking and planning stuff. The quarters were too a place to make useful connections and shake hands over good deals. Seka heard a lot of things waiting on them that he supposed would be of interest to the right ears but he really didn’t understand much of it. And no one had to tell him that a slave better let everything he heard go in through one ear and out the other without leaving an imprint there between. No one had to tell him how easily a gossiping slave’s tongue could be cut out. So he acted pretty much like the deaf and dumb tool they seemed to think he was anyway. He hated those gatherings. The men would never leave him be. They were always commenting on him and trying to touch him. He hated them so much he could have gouged their eyes out. Perverted old bastards all of them. But he never showed anything and just lowered his head at them discussing the alluring shape of his ass or commenting on his wonderful hair. He just kept still as they fingered at his crotch or pulled his hair or tried to press their foul-smelling mouths to his lips. Kept still and hoped they wouldn’t notice how his skin crawled, kept still and screamed inside his head for his master to please just tell them to stop. Medora always did. Maybe not right away, maybe not at a mere caress but he never let it go too far. They taunted him sometimes, Medora’s friends, for being so possessive about the boy but he just grinned at that. Seka almost loved him for it. But apart from that he liked going to the quarters. He liked it because here was the only place where he was accepted. Here among the lowest of the low, here among these whores, male and female he had found goodness. Here he had found the only ones willing to see in him a friend, an equal. Sure they had been suspicious of him at first. Regarded him as competition maybe. But they soon learned he was of no threat to them. He was privately owned and everybody soon got to know he had a master whom was not willing to share. As soon as they got to know him they also understood he wasn’t the seducing type either. He would steal none of their customers. The whores was trying to seduce him though but soon found out he didn’t quite get it. Or wasn’t interested. Though now and then he did went with some of the girls if they openly asked him. The male whores at the quarters were completely out of luck in this aspect. Which many of them had cursed him for in secret. But as they eventually learned he was under strict orders not to touch any males they didn’t held that against him either. Seka would probably not have gone with them anyway but they didn’t know that. Well, finally Seka understood that he was quite popular among the people serving at the quarters. Most of them wanted to make friends with him. So when Lord Medora now and then allowed him to roam the quarters as he pleased he had the best moments this life could offer him. It was the only time he had fun. It was the only times he could be seen chattering freely and even spontaneously laugh and joke. He got closer to some more than others of course. There was a few he might have called his best friends. There was a boy his own age that no one wanted anymore because he was rather pox marked after an illness a few years back that he’d barely survived. He was such a good body servant to his master though that he was kept on anyway and he thanked his lucky star for it. The whores being finished at the quarters had only cruel destinies awaiting them. Sold off to the lowest labors in the city. No one took a used up whore into a decent home. Seka had immediately taking a liking to the unfortunate boy and he got to learn many useful things from him. But no one was as close to him as Sookie. The first class whore knew her value and didn’t often hang out with the riff raff of the quarters and it was true she could be a real bitch and she wasn’t very popular among the others. Seka had had a hard time believing it at first. His first encounter with her had been with a very good-hearted girl. Now he had seen other sides to her as well. Though however condescendingly Sookie could be she obviously had a soft spot for him. When they now and then managed to steal a few moments in private with each other, she was always that same girl he first had met. If Seka had been a free man and Sookie a free girl he would probably have realized that he was in love with her. But what did slaves like him and her know of love? Seka would not have risked such emotions coming up to the surface and neither would she. But it was pretty obvious they cared for each other. Going to the quarters now he hoped, as always, for as little of waiting on Medora’s friends as possible and as much of free time as he could get. It turned out to be neither. Medora told him to stay put in the room and then he went away. He sighed but made him self comfortable on the lush bed. Being alone in here was rather good too. A chance to get a much-appreciated rest and a chance to just be lazy. He hoped Medora would be gone all night. It was hard to tell when he would be back and in what state but it was not his place to ask. If he was sober when he returned it could mean a bit of gentle sex. If he was a bit drunk it usually meant a really sore ass and bruises on his upper arms. Very drunk meant usually that he just slumped over him in the bed and fell asleep. Seka preferred the last situation. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep. When he was awoken by the sound of someone rather noiselessly coming through the door it felt like he had slept only seconds. But it was pitch black outside so it must have been a while. He yawned and turned carefully to look out into the room through the see-through gauze. Judging from the noise his master was a bit drunk. He sighed; he might as well put his ass up in the air for him right away. Though he was surprised to see another obscure figure beside the large frame he knew was Lord Medora, a much smaller one. A woman, one of the prostitutes. He normally didn’t bring any when Seka was in the room. He didn’t like onlookers. Seka sighed even deeper. So he wanted a woman tonight for a change. That meant he would probably be thrown out of the room. Well, there were many places to sleep in the quarters. This place sure didn’t want for beds. Medora pulled the woman close and fondled her and she giggled. Seka froze; he would have known that giggling anywhere. Sookie! He wished to be thrown out as soon as possible now. Would have run out already if he didn’t know he had to wait for the order. It didn’t came. Medora fondled her a bit more eagerly and she shrieked and laughed almost hysterically, Medora chuckled amused. They were both pretty drunk Seka thought. Medora bent down and got hold of the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head. Seka could discern her dark slender naked form in the dusky room. He knew every part of that body but he wasn’t going to touch it tonight. Why couldn’t he just tell him to get out already? She was gently pushed on her back on one of the divans and Medora crawled on top of her. Seka could not quite see what they were doing because the backrest of the divan was between them and him but he needed not much imagination to know what they were doing. He could hear it well. He knew both of their moans as well as any sound he had ever heard. It made him very uneasy having to listen to it. Suddenly though Medora rose from her and told her to stay put and wait. Seka watched him go towards the bed looking at him. It made him cower but at least he was finally going to be thrown out. Medora clawed the gauze out of the way and stared at him. "Get up!" He said. Seka obeyed at once. Scrambled out of the soft bed and headed for the door, trying not to look at Sookie lying naked with spread legs on the divan. But he didn’t get far. Lord Medora grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. "And where the hell do you think you’re going?" He grimaced in pain at the strong grip and stuttered bewildered. "I… I’m… sorry… I thought…" Medora shook him a bit but then let go of him. "Don’t think! Get your clothes off!" He indeed still had his clothes on, had fallen asleep before thinking of shedding them but he didn’t quite get it. It wasn’t like he in any way intended to disobey, not at all. It was just that he was a bit slow in getting it. Sometimes he still had that remnant left from his life as a free person that he had to think about what was said to him instead of just doing it without thinking at all. And that order did seem strange to him. He hesitated too long. He didn’t even see the blow coming before it was like his head exploded and suddenly the floor and ceiling seemed to have shifted places. And then there was pain and the sticky warmth running over his chin was a clear proof of what just had happened. He’d hit him, hard! Struck him over the mouth. It took him a while to gather enough to be really shocked about it. It was such a long time ago now that he had hit him. Medora pulled him to his feet and he moaned and swayed in his grip trying to make the dizziness go away, trying to protect his head from a possible next blow. Trying to gather his wits enough to beg forgiveness for his hesitation and try to explain that he hadn’t meant to be defiant. Medora let go of him when it seemed he could stand by himself. "Do I really have to tell you things twice?" He growled and Seka shook his head slowly, feeling dizzy and sensing lightning bolts of pain shoot through his brain at that small movement. "No," he whimpered miserably and started removing his clothes with violently shaking hands even while begging for forgiveness, "I’m sorry… I’m…" Medora just barked at him to shut up and getting those clothes off already. His master seemed in a worse mood than ever or had he done something? He couldn’t recall what he might have done wrong. As soon as he was as naked as the other two present in the room, Medora grabbed him again and unceremoniously flung him against the backrest of the divan. Strong hands at his neck pressing him down, a warning and a reminder. Sookie’s face was right under his and they stared at each other. A drop of blood from his beat up mouth fell on her cheek and she dried it off with an absentminded movement. Medora kicked at his heels to make him parts his legs and he complied automatically. He felt these iron hands claw at his ass cheeks and pulling them apart as far as they would possibly go. It put a strain on the delicate skin and he felt like it was going to tear. And then without any preparations the big cock-head of his master pressed at his entry and demanded to be let in. Seka knew Sookie saw that expression of pure terror and panic in his face. He could handle the fear; he tried to assure himself. He always could. Its presence wasn’t unusual. His body always rebelled at being entered. He had learned to relax before it, to push the fear aside to let the pain float along his spine and then disappear. Had learned not to fight the initial pain. Had learned not to let the fear get the best of him. Had learned to yield before the inevitable and let them in. And that moment of terror had by time turned into a mere second or so and maybe they didn’t even notice his eyes widening and his chest tightening and his fingers clawing at whatever he could reach. He didn’t quite manage to hide it as well as he usually could now. He wasn’t prepared for this, Medora dry fucked him and… and… Sookie looked him right in the face… She saw it, every detail of it and she could read him as well as a book. And it was like she couldn’t avert her eyes. Her face had an almost silly perplexed expression as she stared at his humiliation and could follow every nuance of it. The most acute pain and fear did go away this time too though it took him longer than usual and he could do nothing else then than just hang over the backrest and jerk back and forth at his master’s thrusts. Biting his cheeks not to moan. Gripping hard at the fabric of the divan to steady him self a bit and not jerk quite that helplessly. And she could see his cheeks flush, could see him get sweaty and could see his face contort at the deep thrusts. Now she could see his true self. See what he really was. Witness his total lack of power; witness the total humiliation of his life. Got to see clear as day that he was nothing, not a person, not a man, just a simple mean for a real man to release his urges on. The one single outlet he had had to get to feel at least like there was some remnant of a real person in him had been when he had been with the girls. With Sookie he had at least been able to pretend for a short time that he was a little bit more than a mere toy. That outlet he was now very effectively being bereft of. Sookie seemed to wake up from her stunned fascination and it was evident that she understood this too. She suddenly looked more embarrassed than one might think it was possible for a quarter whore to be. She even turned red and her face got the impression of pity. He couldn’t take it. Just couldn’t take that look of pity in her eyes. But he couldn’t do anything about it either. Medora had him nailed good and held him fast. He couldn’t get nowhere even if he had dared to try to wiggle out of his grip. He had to endure it until he was finished. It wasn’t until his tears started to drip in her face that Sookie was able to completely pull herself back to reality through the surprise and the haziness of all the wine she’d been drinking. And she finally understood how hurt he was at her seeing this. It hurt her too to see how badly it affected him and she turned her head and looked away while Medora took his time fucking him deeply and thoroughly. She told herself she would bloody well tell that big oaf later on how damn cruel he was no matter if she got punished for it. >>> * <<< Lord Medora seemed to want to compensate the harsh treatment next morning. He was very nice to him. Gently applied a soothing ointment to his sore hole and washed the clotted blood out of the corner of his mouth after carefully checking up his teeth making sure he hadn’t loosened them striking him. He even let him sit down with him and share the breakfast he had had sent up to the room, after he had waited on him of course. But Seka wasn’t really able to get any of the food down. He was as deeply depressed as ever. Hardly even had the mental strength to hate Lord Medora for what he had done. "We’re sulky today, aren’t we?" Lord Medora said in a friendly teasingly voice as if he was trying to coax a pouting child into laughing. "I’m sorry," came the soft answer, "I’ll try to mind my manners Master…" Medora stopped smiling. That could have been a very sarcastic answer but it wasn’t. He felt a bit of a bad conscious. That slave had some spirit; it came up to the surface now and then. But it was so very easy to quench it. Not hard at all. Medora did want the boy to know his place but he didn’t want to snuff that flare completely. "Don’t you even hate me?" He suddenly asked as if trying to find out if he had snuffed it. The slave looked down. "No…" he whispered. "Now, that’s a lie, isn’t it?" Medora didn’t know why he pushed it. Seka just shook his head. "No… I don’t have the strength… and… there’s no use in it… won’t help… And I know I could be much worse off…" Medora smiled tenderly then and lifted the mass of black hair out of his face to get to caress his cheek. "You know, one day you will understand I did this for your own good." >>> * <<< Seka had not believed those cryptic words. How could such humiliation be for his own good? Wasn’t he subdued enough? Did ever disobey? Did he ever act defiant? Hadn’t he been the very good slave-whore for a very long time now? Seka could honestly not believe he needed any more humbling. And things were not the same between him and Sookie anymore. He met her now and then at the quarters but he froze when he saw her and looked away and he could see she wanted to talk to him. Maybe to assure him she didn’t care. That she of course had known all along how he was used and that there was no difference in what he was and what she was or anyone else in here. That it simply didn’t matter that she had happened to see it. Maybe, but it mattered to him and he couldn’t look her in the eyes and she didn’t force the subject then and left him alone. And about two months later when they got to the quarters and several of his friends there rushed to him to tell him the news he got it in a flash. Medora had been doing him a favor in teaching him not to forget that his was not a normal life and that he couldn’t afford to let himself feel normal feelings. Sookie was gone they told him. Sold! It happened now and then that rich men fell in love with an unusually pretty and charming whore and bought him or her to serve as a favored private. It was every quarter whore’s dream to be chosen like that. It happened but it was uncommon enough to create a stir in the quarters and the place was buzzing with the news. Though no one was really surprised that it had been Sookie. A first class whore and all. If anyone would be able to melt the heart of some rich customer it was she. So Sookie was gone and he would never see her again and after that night when she had witnessed his total degradation he didn’t even care. Oh, yes, it had been for his own good all right. He supposed he ought to thank his master for teaching him to not start to care.

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