Chapter 12

Nikal had to sit down and take a really good look at himself and he came to the conclusion that he was the biggest hypocrite. He had taken it out on poor Serenity, scaring, intimidating and humiliating him. Threatening him really, and for what? Serenity had done nothing really but being a bit sloppy with his belongings, which was certainly nothing new. Nikal had to admit to himself that maybe, maybe it had felt good to treat Serenity like that because of a few things that had happened once. Back then Nikal had been too proud to openly show what he had really felt about Serenity cheating on him, but now he had had a reason to make Serenity sorry, hadn’t he? But it had not been Serenity’s fault. Nikal was the one who had tried to have sex with Taven, using him. Nikal was the one who had told himself that the slave would like it well just because it was him using him, his master, that he finally had started to trust, Just because he would be gentle. Just because he would try and make him enjoy it as well. Nikal had thought that letting Taven sleep in his room would be good for him. The slave must be starved of simple closeness without the demand of sex even if he didn’t know it himself, even if he didn’t have the ability to distinguish the two. Taven could not separate such thing, and it must be solely on his responsibility not to take advantage of the fact that the slave couldn’t. Nikal had thought that he could handle it, but he had been tempted. In the end it simply was a master using a defenseless slave for his own needs, wasn’t it? If he used the fact that Taven had started it as an excuse, he was only fooling himself even more. The whole thing was certainly no ones fault but his own. If he hadn't have tried to have sex with him, Taven wouldn’t have worried about not being able to please him. >>> * <<< Taven felt utterly uncomfortable as he followed Nikal out into the garden and they sat down on small bench. It wasn’t so much the dildo in itself that still made him feel so embarrassed by the whole thing, but his master’s reactions to it. He had suspected Nikal would be upset and disgusted… he had. No matter what he had said, his manners and expressions had spoken volumes. "Now about yesterday, I’m not mad at you Taven, or disgusted. I understand how you were thinking, even if it’s totally crazy-thinking," Nikal smiled "It was even kind of touching Taven, I’m flattered, in a way, that you would go to such lengths just to… Well, the… dildo-" Nikal flushed slightly and coughed into his hand, "-incident in itself is not something I want to punish you for. But you did steal it Taven. You stole from Serenity and I do not like that one bit." "Didn’t actually steal it--- more like borrowed it." Taven muttered, hanging his head. "You ask to borrow things, you don’t ask – it’s stealing. Besides, what were you thinking? Would you just have sneaked that thing back into his bedroom later on? Having used it? You could have given Serenity something Taven, ever thought about that? And not that Serenity isn’t fully capable of collecting a few venereal diseases all by himself, but I can’t see why you would dislike him so much that you would knowingly risk his health like that?" Now Taven was a glowing red. "I--- I never meant to… didn’t think…" "No, that was pretty evident. So now we are facing this certain problem again, aren’t we? You have done something I feel I should punish you for, and I do mean the stealing-part, nothing else, and I just don’t know what to do with you." Nikal sighed. "Punishing you, after what you have been through, seems so--- pointless." Taven sighed as well. "Just beat me, for goodness sake. What’s it to it?" "Beating you will make you realize what you’ve done wrong?" Taven looked away in defiant sulkyness. "Then cut my fucking fingers off, I couldn’t steal ever again then, could I?" he snapped. Nikal gave him an unreadable look, and Taven discretely put his hands under his thighs, sitting on them. "Uh--- you wouldn’t really--- w-would you?" "Taven how can you even think that I…" "No, no you wouldn’t," a small sigh and a nervous grin, "I knew that, I… Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, honest." Nikal shook his head grinning. "Seriously Master. I know that I did wrong but I really meant to return it, and I really wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. I am. I will kneel to Serenity, and apologize to him, if you want me to." Nikal smiled. "Let’s not encourage Serenity’s ego, shall we? I’ll let it pass, for the time being. It isn’t really important, not as long as you understand. That wasn’t really why I wanted to talk to you." Taven squirmed. "Can I go back now?" he started to rise. Nikal yanked him down again. "You’re not going anywhere, I told you I had more to say. I’m afraid it was really me who made you steal Taven. I should never have used you." "But I wanted it, I really did… I did!" "I believe you Taven, I do. But I think that you wanted it for the wrong reasons, and I think that your body knows the right reason. No matter what you wanted in here." Nikal touched at Taven’s temple," your body knew better, and it protested." Taven stared. "That’s the weirdest thing I ever heard, total loony talk. If that’d be true then why has that never happened before?" "You have never hurt before at being--- used?" Nikal said, looking quite consternated. "Have I ever… Oh you bet I hurt. They hurt me all the time. But it shouldn’t have hurt, not with you. When I was all prepared and wanted to and you being so careful and all like no one else, and… It hurt back then you know, because they really hurt me. They whipped my asshole, they just plunged right in, they went at it as if they wanted to pound me through the bed, they…" Taven closed his eyes and kind of swayed, but he gathered himself and tried to find the thread of his reasoning again. "Anyways, it gotta hurt when they do it like that. But some were not that bad, you know? Some was being more careful and then it didn’t hurt at all. But even if some of those shitheads went easy on me, I didn’t want it," Taven looked up and into Nikal’s eyes as if he wanted to really assure him that he spoke the truth. "Honestly Master, I never wanted to be with anyone, ever. Only--- only you, I’ll never go with other men Master, that’s the truth." Nikal put a hand on his shoulder. "I never thought you wanted to be used like that Taven, and I’ve never said you can’t go with others. Where did that come from?" Taven shrugged and got back to his original reasoning. "I only meant that some bastards were taking it easy and then it didn’t hurt, even if I didn’t want it. My body sure as hell didn’t want it, but it didn’t protest like that then, so why did it now? " Nikal sighed, looking concerned. "You sure knows how to ask the really relevant questions Taven, I don’t know, not for sure. But maybe your body was never given the chance before, to even try to find out what it wanted or not. Maybe it’s getting to find that out now, and it knows that there’s is no risk in it either. It knows that I would never punish it for expressing it wishes. Do you understand?" Taven stared at his master. Talking like this about his body, as if it was a creature all on its own, not really connected to his mind, sounded weird in his ears to say the least. He was on the verge of just giving the whole theory a contemptuous snort. But silly and abstracted as the talk sounded, it strangely enough didn’t go right over his head. He thought that on some level he might actually understand what his master meant." "So," Taven started hesitatingly, "what’s the right reason then Master?" "Uh?" "The right reason. You said I wanted it for the wrong reasons and that my body knows the right reason. Well, it sure as hell hasn’t told me, so what is it? Coz I just wanna do it right, you know?" The last was whispered as Taven hung his head and fiddled with the end of his braid." Nikal fell silent and Taven waited in nervous anticipation. "Taven, you do want to stay here, don’t you?" Taven looked up, feeling himself go cold at the solemn look of his Master, the seriousness in his voice. "I--- I can’t?" He stammered, feeling as if his entrails were slowly knotting up. "That’s the point Taven, that’s the whole point. Deep inside you really don’t believe that you will be allowed to stay here, right? You think I’m going to throw you out at any time, on some whim? You think I will soon tire of having you around all together? You think I will eventually loose whatever interest I might have in you, if I can’t have any sexual use for you? No matter what I say, or what I do to prove otherwise, you just can’t shake that feeling, can you? And no matter what I say, you think that I don’t want to sleep with you because of how you look? And you hope I will occasionally forget about your looks long enough for you to show what you can do. So that you can trade your sexual skills, your tight hole, your experienced mouth for a chance to stay here? Is that it?" Taven could only stare; he didn’t know what to say. "Well, I’ll tell you something Taven, that is definitely the wrong reason. Now listen to me. I want you Taven; I’d like nothing else than to sleep with you. And I want that because your face, your hair, your eyes, your body – turns me on, but I also want to because you are you. For good of for worse, you do have a rather interesting personality," Nikal grinned, "it excites me, the way you are, demon on the outside--- kitten on the inside." "What?" Taven said, eyes growing bigger, "Kitten?" "Yes," Nikal smiled, "I like you Taven, it’s as simple as that, and that’s why I want to have sex with you. I think it would be nice if you would want to have sex with me for the same reasons, and not only because you want to stay here. It’s a bit… Well, that’s insulting Taven. I would be glad if you liked me back, it would make me happy if you found me attractive as well, if you liked me because of me, and not only because I treat you better than the others did. Do you know what I mean?" Taven didn’t think he had been more at a loss for words in his entire life before. "I’ve been wondering," Nikal continued looking down, "if you were disgusted when I touched you. You didn’t seem to like it all that much. If you would see me as just another disgusting bastard, another old creep. OK, I’m not old, but still; I’m about ten years older than you, and… Well, I thought you might be as disgusted by me as with everyone else that has used you. And I have never even bothered to ask you if you really want to be with men at all, have I? I’m bisexual Taven; I’ve known that since I was very young, but it wasn’t until I met Serenity that I… Well, what preferences do you have Taven? Do you even know that?" Taven’s chin dropped and he must have looked as bewildered as he felt. Nikal sighed. "Shouldn’t talk so much to you, should I? I’m never quite sure what really sticks. Well, there it is. And let me be very clear on things Taven. You are my property and I have no intentions of letting you go anywhere. I won’t throw you out, because I want you here. You do stupid or mean things or deliberately spite me or defy me, I will deal with it, like I did with the bit. But I won’t get rid of you just because being too lazy to bother with handling you. So now you know. You do not have to trade your body for my protection, you have it, for free." Nikal grinned again and put a hand under Taven’s chin. "Shut it Taven," he laughed softly as his hand caressed his cheek, "let’s digest this for a while, what do you say? I’m getting tired of hearing my own voice. And I really just took you out here to tell you that you are still allowed to sleep in my room, if you want to. You choose where you want to sleep yourself. And I won’t touch you---like that. But only because we will wait for your body to sort of--- catch up, do you understand? You let me know when you know what you body wants. Until then I won’t try to have sex with you again. Do you know what I mean?" Taven made a face. "Not really. How the hell am I supposed to know when, or if… or what…" Taven gave up a moan and leaned over to clutch his hands in his hair. "I don’t understand a fucking thing… I’m too stupid," he whined. Nikal sighed and put an arm around his shoulders, wondering if he didn’t demand much too much of the slave, really. >>> * <<< So Nikal decided to let Taven sleep in his bed as much as he wanted to, and every other night Taven came carefully sneaking inside his bedroom to give him an insecure and questioning look. Nikal always smiled and nodded in reply of that look, lifting the covers up to invite him in. No, Nikal never dismissed him, but there were times he almost regretted it. Because having Taven in his bed that often soon proved to be a bit--- trying. Nikal had noticed already the first nights that Taven had slept with him that the slave talked in his sleep. Most of the times he could not discern what the boy was saying, he would just murmur in his ear. But now and then he would bolt right up in bed and start begging and pleading not to be beaten, or he would curse and rant at some invisible enemy. It was fairly easy to calm him down again. Nikal would pull him down beside him and embrace him and he usually went still and quiet. Nikal could handle the sleep talking. It was the sleep screaming that unnerved him. A phenomenon that revealed itself only after Taven sleeping in his bed became a regular occurrence. The first time it happened Nikal’s heart had nearly stopped as a piercing scream had woken him up in the middle of the night. He had scrambled out of bed going all dizzy, hair on end, blinking confusingly, spinning around to try to see what on earth was going on. And Taven had been sitting up in bed, eyes wide open, but totally unseeing, and he had screamed once more like someone was cutting into him with a knife. Then he had just gone back to sleep as if nothing had happened. Nikal, on the other hand had had to sit down for a while at the upholstered chair by the window to try to still his beating heart, before he could go back to bed and try to get some sleep of his own. And there was the sleepwalking. Nikal would wake up by a loud crash as Taven fell over a chair or made a sideboard fall over. The first time he had tried to wake the boy up, but that had made him go hysterical, and it was quite evident that it wasn’t Nikal he saw grabbing at him. It had taken some time to calm him down. Nikal started to understand that Taven was, no matter his outbursts, actually pretty good at hiding his mental unstableness when he was awake. He had opened up rather much to Nikal lately, that was true, and his outbursts of anger got fewer to be replaced with glimpses of the fear and depression he was truly feeling. But it was only in his sleep that his inner feelings lay truly raw and naked and open. Nikal didn’t try to wake him sleepwalking after that. He just saw to it that the doors and windows of his bedroom were securely locked so that Taven wouldn’t wander off or fall out the window. And at those nights he woke up to find Taven pacing the room, he silently followed him and carefully steered him back to the bed. Taven knew nothing about any of this in the mornings. Nikal had once asked him what it was that he had tried to tell him during the night, Taven had stared at him, and said that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Nikal asked him if he was aware of that he was up walking some nights, and Taven had sulkily denied that as well. But he admitted that Swift often had kept his ankles tied at nights. Nikal had shook his head in worry. He was afraid Taven was more fucked up than he had understood. He really didn’t know what to do about it, Still, Nikal handled talking, screaming and nightly walkabouts in his bedroom stoically, maybe it would go away by itself in time? But one thing nearly made him send the slave back to his own room for good. >>> * <<< Nikal woke up, slowly stretching and yawning himself awake at the teasing sunrays hitting him in the eyes through the half open blinds, he felt in a really good mood, felt rested. Taven had slept calmly beside him the whole night and he was quite grateful about that. Nikal had begun to get dark rings under his eyes from getting his sleep disturbed every other night. It was then that he made the very unpleasant discovery of his whole left side being all wet and cold. At first he couldn’t understand it. What was it, where did it come from? He looked up into the ceiling. Had the roof sprung leak? But no, his cover wasn’t wet on top and there were no stains at the ceiling. He looked at Taven still sleeping huddled up close to him, and spotted the source. The crotch of his pajama pants was totally soaked. Nikal couldn’t help making a grimace of disgust, for a moment he was all taken aback and just didn’t know how he was supposed to react to this. Finally he carefully turned on his side, put a hand on Taven’s shoulder, waking him up, trying to show a mild expression, smiling at him. Taven blinked at him and at first he smiled back. But it died out, as if he sensed there was something odd with his master’s smile, and then Taven felt the cold wetness as well. He slowly looked down to his crotch. Taven’s reaction, as he understood what he had done, was strong. Nikal had never seen him turn so deeply red and looking so ashamed. Taven practically fell out of the bed in his desperate attempt to get away from the room, but when he reached the door he got no further. It was locked as it usually was. Taven tugged at the door handle in frenzy, and didn’t stop until Nikal went up to him and put his hands on his shoulders, then he crumpled to the floor instead, bursting out weeping violently. Nikal leaned over him. "Uh--- Taven, look, I’m not angry with you. This," Nikal touched at his soaked pants with an involuntarily shudder, "this is not your fault… I mean you didn’t do it on purpose, and… Ah, shit!" Nikal exclaimed, what did you say to someone that had just pissed on you? Taven wasn’t listening anyway, he was totally beside himself with shame, curled up against the door and yelling at Nikal not to look at him, to go away. Nikal could understand him, he thought he himself would have just died from pure shame, had he done something like that. Nikal straightened and sighed. There was just one thing after another, but he supposed he had no other choice than to try and deal with this--- as well. He crouched down beside Taven and tried again. "I understand this is embarrassing Taven, I--- uh --- think so too, but you don’t want the whole house to know about it, do you? So I suggest that you calm down, do you hear me?" That did the trick, Taven swallowed the weeping in an intake of breath and turned quiet in an instant. "I wanna die…" he finally whispered, "why can’t I just die?" "It’s not that bad, Taven…" "You gonna flog me? Please do that. Please?" "I hardly think that would make anything be…" "I pissed on you!" Taven would have screamed it out if he weren’t so afraid anyone would hear. It was pressed out between clenched teeth instead. Nikal nodded. "I guess you did. But you did it in your sleep Taven; you couldn’t help it. Has this--- happened before?" "I don’t want to talk about it." "No, I can see that, but this can’t possibly turn anymore awkward, can it? So you might as well tell me." "It--- it has happened before," Taven whispered, "lots of times, always, as long as I can remember. There’s something wrong with me… that way too. I don’t know why… I--- I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would… I thought it had stopped, it hasn’t happened for long now. It stopped, when I got here it stopped, I thought it had stopped…" he cried again but silently now. Nikal dried at his upper lip, this wasn’t easy. "There--- there might actually be something wrong with you Taven, something physically wrong I mean. I think it would be best if I took to you to see Dr. Cordoux, and…" "You do that… you tell anyone…I’ll kill myself. I swear I do. I’ll kill myself!" "All right, calm down, I won’t, not right now anyway, we’ll talk about that again later, OK?" Nikal squirmed, he really didn’t want to know, but he had to ask. "Taven when you were still… Swift, he knew about this? What--- what did he do to you?" Taven froze and Nikal thought he wouldn’t answer, but he did "What do you think? What do you think he did?" Taven sobbed, "he--- he whipped me that’s what he did, most scars--- most of the scars are because of that. I thought he would beat me to death… I tried to hide it from him, tried to clean it up before he saw… But that shithead always woke up before me, and if he saw that I had--- had… He kicked me and yelled at me…" Taven sobbed even more, "he said all those things about how disgusting I was, and--- and he was right, wasn’t he? Now you can see for yourself just how right he was, can’t you?" Nikal found no words to answer though he really wanted to object to that. Taven didn’t wait for Nikal to gather himself. "He rubbed my face in it, he made me clean it up with my own hair… lick it up, he got that hose out and spurted cold water on me until I thought I was gonna freeze to death, that’s what he did if you want to know. And when I first got there he let me sleep on an old mattress he had… but then… no more of that. I slept in the washroom; naked on the tiles, with my ankles tied… That way I made the least mess he said, he could just whip me and then hose it all down the drain… Blood and piss…" Taven pressed his forehead to the door and swallowed as if to try to not cry, or cry out. "And he was so fucking mad, I though he would kill me over it, I was so scared… too scared to even sleep… But then it was all so fucking funny too, wasn’t it? He told them… he told everyone that came, and they all laughed at me… And then one night some fucking bastard asked Swift if he could--- could--- tie me up and--- and--- do it on me--- pissing on me… And he--- he said it was all right coz I was all used to it anyway, and then he made a lot of money out of that… So now you know. That’s what he did. And you say you won’t even beat me? I don’t--- fucking--- believe you!" Nikal was so angry he couldn’t get a word out, but he tried his best to quench it not to give Taven the wrong idea about who he was angry with, because it sure as hell wasn’t Taven. "You just have to try and believe that Taven," he finally managed, "because I am not angry with you, and I am not disgusted by you. I will not punish you in the least, and I will not tell anyone if you don’t want me to," Nikal carefully reached a hand out to touch at Taven’s hair. "But whether you believe me or not Taven, please believe this, if I ever get hold of Swift I will make him regret he was ever born." >>> * <<< Nikal had got them both into the shower, and he had let Taven wash both their nightclothes and the sheets up by hand in the hand basin of his private bathroom. It had been quite humiliating for Taven to take care of his own mess, Nikal assumed. He had been thorough in explaining to him that he didn’t make him do it to punish him, but so that his secret would be kept. If one of the maids got to see it, it would be all over the house in a few minutes. And there were limits to his kindness; he would sure not do it. Later that day Nikal had went into the city, to the library and looked through the shelves with the psychology books. He had learned that it was not uncommon for small children to wet their beds now and then, sometimes for no apparent reason, but especially if they felt unsafe. It usually went away by itself when they got a bit older. Taven was almost seventeen, and that he still did it was obviously not normal, but then what in the poor boy’s life had ever been normal? Nothing! Well, if he did it because he didn’t feel safe then the obvious cure would be to make him feel safe. Nikal decided not to throw him out of his bedroom after all. And he would try again to persuade Taven to go see Dr. Cordoux as well, just to rule out the possibility of a physical condition causing it. Nikal swore to himself that somehow he would make the slave feel safe, even if he had to sacrifice his good night’s sleep for it or, he shuddered, if he had to wake up in a wet bed now and then. >>> * <<< Nikal had sounded upset on the phone Roth thought, and he had called him rather late to ask him to come over to the mansion. Roth had sighed, he had bought a pizza and rented a movie, but what were friends for? Besides he had something to give Nikal anyway and this was as good a time as any to give it to him. Nikal was upset by something, that was apparent, Roth thought as he got there, even if he tried to hide it. He invited Roth into his TV-room and got him a beer; they comfortably reclined on the couch, relaxing. Only Nikal seemed neither comfortable nor relaxed. "So, what’s up?" Roth asked, opening the beer can and taking a sip. "Swift!" Nikal said Roth blinked. "What about him?" "Nothing’s happening. We just let it go." "I haven’t exactly dropped it," Roth said looking down, "but there really isn’t anything we can do at the moment." "We have to get at that bastard in some way." Nikal said flying out of the couch to start to pace the room in anger and frustration. "There’s no end to the torture that he can put that other poor kid through." Roth squirmed a little. "Nikal… I agree with you, I really do. I saw that kid and I just wanted to grab him and run, but it doesn’t work that way. We can’t get to Swift, and if we tried anyway… I could lose my license, even go to jail. You, being a clan member, might not. But you aren’t like that Nikal. You don’t use your status to do things that others can’t get away with. And, despicable as it is what Swift’s doing to that kid, what he did to Taven, it’s not illegal." "It bloody well should be!" Nikal shouted. "No argument there," Roth said, "but right now, it isn’t. Nikal, I’m kind of glad you brought this up because I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something anyway. You want to help that kid; you should go into politics and try to get these laws changed. This way, it isn’t going to work. And besides, you are helping Taven, and maybe you could even help that kid that Swift’s got now, but… There is probably a couple of thousand more being mistreated in this town alone. How many do you think there might be in the whole country? You can’t save them all; you can’t bring them all here. And if you could choose a few to save, to soothe a sort of collective conscious within you, who would it be? Who deserves it, who does not?" "So, what are you saying? I should just turn a blind eye?" "No offence Nikal, but that’s what you always did up till now." Nikal looked angrier than ever and opened his mouth as to protest, but then he simply sank down on the couch again with a loud sigh. "All right, you are right. You are right in everything you’re saying. Still, it just eats at me, you know?" "I know," Roth said, "that’s why I got you these." Roth reached down for a paper bag beside him and started to pull a lot of flyers and brochures out of it, stacking them on Nikal’s lap. "I’ve been collecting these and been meaning to bring them." "What’s this?" Nikal asked, taking a few of the papers in his hands. "Political movements, protest groups, human right activists… Some of these organizations are pretty crazy I think, but a few of them actually do have a point. Well, they all have, in a way. Slavery should be illegal on the whole. But some of these organizations want a revolution, want to overthrow the system totally. I think they are just out to cause trouble on the whole, they are just using the slave-problem to get at the society at large. But a few of these groups really know what they are talking about. They have their theories well built up by research, and they want to solve the problems in democratic and sensible ways. They really believe in their cause." Nikal raised an eyebrow. "There are organizations like this? I had no idea." "No offence Nikal, but you aristocrats live in a pink glass bubble sometimes. You only see demonstrations and riots on the TV-screen, and you shake your heads and mutter something about troublemakers, but you never even bother to find out what the trouble is about. Yes, there are organizations like these, quite many in fact. And reading these papers Nikal might be tough, because they want to force you to take a stand. For or against! There’s nothing in between. You keep slaves you support people like Swift, and the abuse they put their property through, even if you yourself treat your slaves like royalty. No matter how good you are to Taven, you are not his solution; you are a part of his problem. Is there such a thing as ‘good slavery’ and ‘bad slavery’ Nikal? Or is there only ‘bad slavery’? That’s what these groups wants you to decide for yourself." Nikal frowned. "Are you a member of some of these organizations? It seems like it, as you are carrying on." Roth grinned. "No, I’m not into politics, of any kind, you know? But reading these flyers, it made me think. I admit I’ve never cared about these things before either. Slaves, I didn’t keep them, so what was it to me? I didn’t much care about them." Nikal looked down and bit his lower lips. "I suppose--- they are right--- in a basic moral sort of way. I’ve never really thought about it that way. I guess I have just spent my days as if there was such a thing as ‘good slavery’. I was always just so used to it. They were always around, always has been. What can I say? I’ve never treated them bad, never beat any of them… But it’s not as simple as this, Roth." Nikal lifted the stack of papers up. "The way the society is constructed--- they are better off. We owe them some responsibility as well, as I see it. They don’t know anything else either. What? Should we just set them all free and let them go? There would be total chaos everywhere. If this society changed so radically and fast, as some of these organizations seem to want… If I had to let Taven go, had to throw him out… he wants to stay, you know? How long do you think he would manage?" "I know," Roth agreed, "it’s true. A question such as this can be discussed from a moral or philosophical angle, but then there’s always real life to complicate things... You are right Nikal; we can’t just let them all go all at once. And as for Taven, well I definitely think he’s better of being a slave for the rest of his life, he’s just too fucked up to manage on his own. The more sensible human right activist organizations know all this as well. They are not out to get at slave owners personally, they are not out to get at the clans, and they don’t want to abolish the slave-system all at once. That is their ultimate goal, yes, but for now they are only working on trying to enforce laws that will grant all slaves a right to some basic decent living conditions. They just want a minimum of security for them. I think you can agree on that part. So I thought if you looked into this, if you choose a few of the most sensible organizations and supported them… You have money Nikal, and that’s something these groups do not have. Support them! You want the same things really. Forget Swift, trying to get at Swift is not you trying to change what’s wrong with our country, it’s personal vengeance Nikal, because you are so infatuated with Taven that you get fucking stars in your eyes when you look at him. Forget Swift and do something that counts if you care about Taven. These groups would get an aristocrat on their side, it would lend them credibility, maybe they would even get listened to." Nikal looked down and fiddled with the flyers, being very quiet for a very long time. "I get stars in my eyes?" he finally muttered under his hanging hair. "Yup" Roth grinned, "and it makes you look like a total idiot." Nikal grinned in reply. "All right, I will look through all of this. And Roth… Thanks."

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