Lynn, Chapter 10

Chapter 10

So they went on a date. It was nothing more than that but one date became two and three and at the fourth one they had sex. It had been really nice and if you still wanted to date a woman after having sex then it was turning into something else. Going to work knowing he would meet her every day was something that Lucas looked forward to and suddenly it was not dates anymore but going out on a regular basis and without having to decide beforehand, it started to be a given thing.

And one day, yes Lucas couldn't really relate how it happened, he knew he had a girlfriend again and that same day he stopped touching Lynn all together.

>>> * <<<

All bodily contact between them was simply no more. But that was the only thing that changed. Lucas seemed not angry, not displeased, not annoyed not anything; he just ceased to touch him. Just didn't tell him to sleep in his room anymore.

At first Lynn waited patiently. His master had his spells. Demanding periods at work when he was tired. Periods when he had some short fling with a woman. A week or so when he was simply not in the mood. Lynn waited for whatever period it would be to end but there were several weeks.

The slave did not initiate, The slave did not express his wants and needs. The slave did not show that he longed for his master. The slave did not ask his master what was up. The slave may wait but not try and speed up the process… The slave suffered in silence.

And when Lucas was at work Lynn could sit for hours and stare into a mirror and try to look for what might be wrong. Apparently he was still a good servant because Lucas was not displeased with the work he did. He hadn't said a negative word about the way he took care of the apartment or about the way he waited on him. He praised his cooking abilities like he always had. So what was it about? It must be him. Lucas must have tired of his looks and body. Maybe his master still cared about him but not in that way anymore it seemed.

Lynn didn't find that strange. He had known it would happen sooner or later and he had thought that he must be the luckiest slave on this planet because Lucas would still keep him on and let him serve him even after he grew tired of using him. But he had a hard time being happy though he knew he should be.

And he looked in the mirror and knew that he was at least 28 years old and that was much too old, very much too old. And he stood naked in front the mirror and pinched at his skin. Had he become fat and repulsive? He tried to eat as little as he could. It annoyed Lucas and he had tried to force him to eat more but Lynn had his tricks. A hundred little tricks to not let Lucas know how little he ate.

His skin was not as nice anymore, was it? So scarred… Maybe Lucas had tired of looking at those grotesque things at his back; maybe Lucas was repulsed about the scars from his slit wrists. They did look terrible, didn't they? He shouldn't have cut so deep, and those damn numbers on his arm, they weren't exactly making him prettier. On the whole he was a bit gloomy these days, wasn't he? And there were fine lines at the corner of his eyes that hadn't been there before.

Was he losing his hair? He didn't think so; geldings weren't partial to, lack of testosterone or something like that.

And Lynn stared into the mirror and tried to find the reason and he knew he should be grateful and happy… but it hurt too damn much and all he could do was to keep on hurting because he had promised Lucas never to cut himself again…

>>> * <<<

Lucas looked at Erica from across the table at the fancy restaurant in Setienne that he had taken her to. She looked so childishly happy and expectant. He felt such tenderness at that look in her face and a bit of guilt too because apparently she thought this was about something bigger than it really was. He had told her that he would treat her to this place because he had things to tell. And maybe he had looked too teasingly smug and secretive because now she was being terribly excited and it was really not such a big deal what he had to tell her. He really hoped she didn't think he was going to pop the question. Lucas was very much infatuated with Erica but marriage and such was not something he considered, not yet.

"Come on Lucas! What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh it's nothing important really I swear. I just wanted us to have a nice night out." She looked disappointed.

"So it's nothing at all?" He cringed.

"Well, of course there's something…"

"Come on Lucas, you are scaring me here."

"OK… you know we have been going out for almost three months and you have not been at my place once… well I've come up with one lame excuse after another and you must have wondered… I want to tell you the truth Erica. I've avoided to take you home because… well because I keep a slave and that's all." She looked surprised but then her expression changed into an even more disappointed one.

"Lucas you can not be serious. You know what I think about such."

Oh yes, he knew exactly what she thought about owning slaves and a lot of other things because she repeatedly told him about what she thought. She had read a lot of books and articles about this and that and had a damn typical middle class PC attitude. The one where you knew exactly what was right and was what wrong but it was so damn easy for you to know that since you had never lived anything else than a sheltered middle class life and had never had to test those PC theories against real life. He sighed.

"I know and that's why I haven't told you because you would misunderstand the whole thing…"

"It's wrong Lucas, it's simply wrong." She cut him short with an angry frown.

"I know it's wrong, don't you think I know that but it's not that simple…" She interrupted him again.

"It's not a woman is it?" Lucas had to smile at that.

"No, it's a… uh… it's a man." Almost a lie, still not quite.

They had eventually ended up in a fight about it, their first. She kept on telling him it was wrong as if he didn't know and it didn't help that he tried to explain to her how it all had come about in the first place. It was hard to explain anyway. Especially since he couldn't very well tell her all the details of his and Lynn's former life together. To tell her that he used to be a pimp was not an option. And it didn't help telling her that Lynn was really happy staying with him and would not have left without making a scene even if the law changed and Lucas would have been able to set him free. She just went on and on about basic human rights and principals. He felt like smacking her in the face.

Lucas had not spent the night at her place like he usually did after a night out. And it was kind of awkward meeting her at work the next morning.

>>> * <<<

Though they made up of course. At the end of the week things were back to normal after a mutual exchange of "I'm sorries" and some fabulous sex. Erica didn't mention Lynn for several days after that and Lucas almost thought she had accepted it but then she came one day after work and demanded to finally be invited to Lucas's home. It was crazy, wasn't it? That they had a relationship, an exclusive steady one and she had never been at his place? Lucas had to agree. Then she said that she's very much would like to meet this slave of Lucas's too. Just wanted to meet him and maybe talk to him a little. Maybe make him see that he shouldn't accept his slavery in such a profound way. Oh yes, Lucas had tried to use that as an excuse, that the poor thing wanted it himself.

Lucas sighed and agreed, what else could he do? Now all he had to do was to go and tell the other unknowing part. He was quite sure that would be ever as much fun as it had been telling the first unknowing part.

>>> * <<<

It was easier with Lynn in a way though. He didn't have to sugar coating it with him. He could just tell him and not get a lot of shit. So he did, he told him. Told him that he had met a woman and that he was in a relationship with her and that she was coming for dinner and would spend the night. That Lynn was to make a really nice dinner for them and then keep away for the rest of the night preferably staying in his room. That he should be prepared for that she would be a regular guest from now on and that Lucas expected that Lynn showed her the same respect he showed him.

Oh yes that had been really simple, telling him simple facts and not getting any protests, no scenes, no accusing words. Only a submissive "Yes Master" and there was nothing more to it.

Yes really simple if it hadn't been for the bottomless hurt in those big dark eyes of his.

>>> * <<<

Lucas couldn't help that he found Erica's and Lynn's first meeting a rather amusing one in some sort of absurd way. Lucas noted, coming home after work and bringing Erica that Lynn had been out to impress her. The apartment was squeaky clean and judging from the smell that hit their noses as soon as they stepped inside he had been creating some true works of art out there in the kitchen. And the thought of if Lynn was capable of jealousy had never crossed Lucas's mind but the creature that met them in the hallway was no less than… stunning.

Lucas wasn't stupid, he knew Lynn had suffered from him ignoring him since he met Erica, it had probably worried him to no end why Lucas wasn't taking him to bed anymore. But Lucas had brushed it aside. Had simply pretended even to himself that he hadn't seen it. He didn't have the strength to care. He had fallen for Erica and he just did not want to deny himself that happiness for Lynn' s sake. He treated Lynn well and he owed him nothing else than that. As usual, it was so easy to ignore him because he didn't speak up. Lucas had seen how it had affected him though. That his eyes looked hollow and red rimmed. That he didn't care so much about combing his hair every day or even wash it. That he wore the same clothes over and over though he had quite many pieces of clothing these days. He had been letting himself go… But not tonight.

Tonight Lynn was rigged to the teeth and Lucas was slightly amused at that very unusual and very subtle sort of rebellion on Lynn's part. Seemed he wasn't going to step aside without a fight.

And Erica? Well, Lucas had to laugh on the sly at her expression. God knows what kind of slave she had thought Lynn to be or what she had expected him to look like. Maybe she had thought him a sweet old man, a creaky Old Faithful servant? Or maybe a worker, a hairy muscular one? Whatever, it was quite evident she hadn't expected this.

She stared openly at him, her mouth stupidly agape. Lucas could see her almost scan him up and down taking in every detail. The exquisite jaw line of his face ending in those perfect cheekbones. That straight nose with its thin and sensitive nostrils. That mouth, red and generous with lips that any woman would murder for. His eyes, downcast in respect but not so much that she couldn't see that wonderful deep chocolate color and how they contrasted against those fair eyelashes that seemed to be a tad too long to be true. She had surely not expected that slim lithe body, the touching elven beauty of it enhanced to perfection with those black low cut pants and black top he was wearing, long sleeves to hide his scars. And she had surely not been expecting that anything male could move so elegantly and graceful in taking their coats and Lucas watched her staring in total disbelief at the virtual cascade of silky hair spilling over Lynn's back and shoulders to end up somewhere mid thigh. Lynns hair grew, it grew fast. It had been long before. Now it was freakishly long.

Lucas could see quite literally how any thoughts of political correctness when it came to Lynn were discarded in a second. Erica's PC theories were not more steadfast than that, at her first try to test them against reality. Not when reality proved to be a castrated slave twice as pretty as she was.

>>> * <<<

Erica came to spend a lot of time in Lucas's apartment. Lucas was quite happy about it at first. It was nice to have everything out in the open and not having to hide things. Well, most of it anyway, there were things he hadn't told her. Things like that he used to have sex with Lynn for example. She had asked him once, not in so many words but she had asked him if Lynn was the sort of slave he looked like and Lucas had told her no. It wasn't an outright lie, he wasn't. Not anymore.

Erica ignored him then, she almost never mentioned Lynn. She was coldly polite towards him but avoided him as much as possible. She certainly never talked with him about anything and she stopped saying anything about slavery on the whole. She simply did her best to pretend that Lynn did not exist. Still Lucas had the distinct feeling she was constantly here to guard her territory from Lynn. In the long run it made Lucas annoyed.

Lynn on the other hand behaved exemplary. Like if he could do anything else. He must be very well aware of how little he had to oppose to this arrangement. Whatever he thought about it, he had no rights to complain and he didn't. Lucas could feel it though, he knew his slave that well by now, feel the despair and frustration cooped up inside of him. Lucas kept wondering if he would be able to take it or if he would lose it one day and what he was suppose to do to Lynn if he did? It wasn't like he didn't feel sorry for him but what the hell could he do? He just couldn't put a slave before his own girlfriend. Lucas really hoped Lynn wouldn't force him to make such a choice.

And things were as tranquil as one could ask for and every day life went idly by but under the surface there were tensions and they were all three of them acutely aware of it.

>>> * <<<

Slowly, without Lucas really noticing it, Erica took over more and more of Lynn's chores and put him effectively more and more in the background. She let herself in with the spare key when Lucas was away and told Lynn to "get a well deserved rest" while she tidied up. She had opinions about his cooking and offered to show him how it should be done eventually doing it all by herself. She threw away a few flowerpots that Lynn had sowed and that had not started sprouting yet. Oh that, how was she supposed to know there had been something in them? It had been in the way anyway for some plants she had bought Lucas. She happened to spill a bottle of Tipp Ex on his favorite black trousers as they worked on some blueprints in the study one night and he came to serve them coffee. And there was no telling how that mint gum she was always chewing ended up in Lynn's hair so that he had to cut a long strand of it off. It hadn't really ruined the rest of the hair but he had still cried miserably having to do that.

This sort of animosity directed towards him was something Lynn had never experienced before and he had no idea how to react to it. He just took it and tried to avoid her and prayed she would leave him alone. Prayed Lucas would notice because he could not tell on her of course. And besides, he wasn't all that sure that Lucas would care even if he did notice. After all she wasn't really openly mean to him and she didn't do anything that would hurt him physically. There was really nothing to complain about. Other than a very uneasy feeling of being slowly maneuvered out of the way until she would one day say, Lucas dear, isn't it time we get rid of that slave and he would answer, of course darling I've been thinking the same thing lately.

>>> * <<<

Lucas did notice. He was neither stupid nor blind. He meant to talk to her about it. Telling her to let up on Lynn a bit, that he wasn't a threat to her. But he never got to it. He meant to tell her too that since they had not actually moved in together yet it bothered him just a tad that she did so much tidying up and such in his apartment, it wasn't really necessary, he had a slave to do that after all. But he never got to that either. There was so much other stuff to take care of all the time and he knew she would take offence and he didn't have the strength to try and appease her.

Though as he came home one day and found her going through his closets, apparently with the intention of giving them the big spring haul over judging from the piles of clothes on the floor and the dust rag on her shoulder. He decided they must have a serious discussion about where they really stood in this relationship.

He never got that far though. She turned as she heard him and she had the strangest expression in her face and she held up something to stare in disbelief at it. Lucas winced; she had found Lynn's silk dress.

There was a shifting of emotion on her face that went from disbelief to anger and back again passing hurt every time.

"This… this is not mine." She said and accusingly held up the black dress to Lucas. Lucas's crestfallen expression did not make her happier.

"It's not mine…" She repeated.

"Look Erica, it's not what you think…"

"It's not what you think…? You had better give me a better explanation than an ancient cliché." She screamed but then she just sank down at the edge of the bed and started crying.

"You promised me you wouldn't be unfaithful to me. You promised me there would never be other women and you lied! You have even brought some bitch here and obviously you wanted me to find it since you didn't even bother to get rid of the evidence…"

God Lucas felt bad. She was really hurt. He tried to sit down beside her but she pushed him away.

"Don't touch me! If you want us to break up you could have said it to my face and not humiliate me by letting me find some other woman's clothes in your fucking bedroom."

"Erica please I would not do…"

"You're a coward Lucas, a coward, you could have told me." Lucas was being quite fed up with not being listened to, tears or no tears he yelled at her.

"Would you stop whining and listen to me. I haven't been unfaithful; there's no other woman. I haven't as much as even looked at another women since we started dating. No one left this dress here it belongs to…"

He silenced in embarrassment and she stopped crying as it struck her what he most likely had been about to say and wasn't it even worse than she had ever thought? She looked at the silk at her lap in shock.

"It's his… It's his, isn't it…? Oh my God it is." Lucas nodded, no use in lying about it now, at least she wouldn't think he had been unfaithful.

"Yes, it's his, so will you please just put it back and we'll forget all about it, OK?"

"That's… that's sick! He wears this? Why? Why in God's name does he wear a thing like this?"

"Forget it Erica, it's no big deal, you know he's not exactly manly and…" She obviously wasn't buying it.

"So he's a cross-dresser by choice you say? And you would endorse that because you are such a fucking good master and buy him silk dresses?" Lucas shrugged. He guessed she wouldn't believe him if he told her Lynn really had bought that dress himself.

"You told me you don't use him like… like the aristocrats do. Please don't tell me you were lying."

"I wasn't lying, not exactly, I haven't touched him since we started going out…" And Lucas could see the hurt on Lynn's face inside his head right now at him putting him aside. Shit whatever he did he hurt someone. Erica had the same hurt in her eyes now.

"You mean… you mean you have touched him… before?"

Lucas cringed before those eyes but shrugged. She might as well know, she would have got to know sooner or later, or guessed at it. Fuck, this had not been a good way to break it to her though. He had planned on telling her, he really had. But he had been waiting for a better time. Should have known there wasn't such a thing. He had hoped she would accept it, maybe even let him have an occasional night with Lynn if she was away for a longer period or so… would have made the poor thing happy… Had hoped she would eventually learn to accept it the way the aristocratic women did. After all, whatever criticism she had about their decadent lifestyle she spent all that time reading those gossip magazines didn't she? Trying her best to mimic them in a not too obvious a way. Seemed like he hoped in vain.

"You… you used to have sex with him?" Lucas looked down and nodded.

"How could you have sex with a man?" She simply asked and Lucas turned red.

"He doesn't exactly look like one." He said and knew the second it left his mouth that that was the lamest excuse.

"You're bi-sexual!" She said and said it like if he had some sort of disgusting disease. And she had been spending a whole night once ranting about gay rights? Lucas shrugged at that though. He had spent so many hours assuring himself that he was not gay that the thought of being bi-sexual had never even occurred to him. Maybe he was? Didn't even bother him anymore if he was, only thing he knew was that he would never have had sex with any other man than Lynn.

She didn't say another word, she rose from the bed, and held up the silk dress and with a forceful tug she ripped it and threw it in Lucas's face storming out of the apartment.

>>> * <<<

And Lynn had felt a cold lump in his stomach as Lucas had ordered him to tidy the mess in the bedroom up and he found the torn up dress on the floor. But he never really got to know what had been going on in here. It wasn't like he dared ask.

Something had happened though and it had to have something to do with him because his master's woman started to show her hate much more openly when Lucas was not around. The looks she gave him frightened him. Just you wait, they spoke to him. And Lynn waited…

>>> * <<<

He jumped a foot in the air as she suddenly was behind him in the kitchen, coughing in his ear. He turned heart beating wildly and drew back to bow respectfully and deeply to her. Wasn't she supposed to be his master's assistant at work? Then how come she always seemed to turn up here during the days? Being alone in the apartment with her scared him more and more and he did his very best to not appear as a threat to her. He had been defiant in the beginning trying to show her he could compete with her in looks anyway if not in anything else. Foolish, very foolish and he blamed Lucas for it. He shouldn't have treated him like if he was better than he was. Must have got to his head. Lately he had done his best to appear as plain looking as possible instead. He wore his hair in a tight bun at the nape of his neck (might protect it from further sabotage too) and had even taken out the earrings.

"Nice weather today, isn't it?" She said smiling, "Cold but sunny and nice."

He nodded and agreed still as suspicious and wary. Surely she didn't come here to talk of the weather?

"I thought we would go for a walk you and me? What do you say?" What was it that she was after? He couldn't understand.

"Ah… I'm sorry Miss… I'm not allowed to leave the apartment unless…" She cut him short with a frown.

"Without Lucas going with you, yes, yes I know. But it doesn't have to be Lucas, any free person is OK. Now come on, we are going for a walk."

So he trudged after her and it really was cold outside. It didn't bother her one bit though since she was wearing a warm coat and boots. He on the other hand had been dragged outside in such a hurry that he hadn't even had time to put some shoes on. He was walking barefooted on the icy cold asphalt and the thin T-shirt he had on was not exactly warm either. He shivered and hugged himself watching his breath produce small clouds.

He had no idea where she was taking him. He was quite lost after a while. Everything looked the same here at the base; all buildings large and cube shaped and white. And he didn't dare looking up to see where they were going anyway. He had not really learned how to find his way around this place even though he'd lived here for over a year now. But Lucas wasn't taking him out very often, and when he did he was taking him mostly to Setienne, there was no reason to have him trailing along around the base.

Way back at the outskirts of the base opposite from where Lucas lived there was a river. Lynn had never known that. Erica went up to the rail and looked down then turning, smiling and waving at him to come closer. He reluctantly obeyed her. There was a fall here with some old sluices. They were open and though the fall was not very high it created a deafening sound. He was cold inside and out nearing the rail. If she pushed him in… He couldn't swim and it wouldn't have helped anyway against the current created by the fall. The cold of the water would have done him in, in a few minutes in either case. The roar of the water… no one would hear him…

"You want him?" She shouted to make her self heard over the roar. He still wasn't sure he had heard that right.

"You want him, right? You had him before. Don't you think I know? He fucked you…" His fingers closed in a white knuckled grip around the icy railing.

"You bitch! You fucking bitch. I should have known just by looking at you but I am so damn naive. Don't you think I have seen the way you look at him? Don't you think I know how you can't wait to get back into his bed? Well you can just forget that, he won't take you back because you look like a cheap whore and you act like a slut!" He blinked confused at her. Did she know? Did she know he used to be a whore?

"I'm warning you, you hear? Back off! Get it? He's mine now and you had better back off or I will make you regret it!"

She turned and walked away.

>>> * <<<

He had been standing there for a long time frozen in some kind of shock and for the simple fact that he didn't know where to go to get back to the apartment. But eventually he chose a direction and started walking. He was so freezing cold his teeth rattled and he must move.

He sneaked between the buildings trying to remember which they had passed or which they had not passed. He didn't see any people here but knew there would be more people closer to the center of the base. He wasn't sure if he ought to try and stay away from people. After all he was not allowed to walk around by himself here and they might get angry with him but on the other hand he didn't see how he would ever find his way back to the apartment without asking someone.

He almost started to cry. He was so cold it hurt and he realized suddenly that he wouldn't get in even if he did get back to the apartment. She had locked the door when they left and he had of course no keys.

Nearing the guarded gates at some inner facilities he took a deep breath and walked up to the two guards standing at the side, smoking and small talking. With a lump of fear in his stomach at their tall and muscular looks and the weapons they carried he showed them his marked arm. Told them who he belonged to and that he was walking around here without permission and asked them as humbly as only he could to please take him back.

A few minutes later he was back in that holding cell. They had not been mean to him though. Apparently they had understood something was not as it should be. And he had not been either defiant or uncooperative. They had stared at his bare feet and light clothing and later in the cell they had brought him a blanket and some hot cocoa. He had kept shivering for hours after he got warm again though.

Lynn didn't know if they had forgotten to tell Lucas or if he was too angry to pick him up right away, but it was quite late and pitch dark outside when Lucas finally turned up. He brought a pair of sneakers and a knitted sweater and looked more than annoyed to say the least, ordering him to not say a word.

Later Lucas had barked at him in a way that he hadn't for a long time and he had yelled and cursed at him even more as he had failed to give him a rational explanation to why he had walked off. Lynn didn't dare to tell him anything about Erica. So he had taken the scolding kneeling and promised at Lucas's threat to get him a pair of leg irons that he would never do such a thing again. Then he had cried all night…

>>> * <<<

If Erica had hoped that Lynn would be in the doghouse because of this at the same time as she finally got her message through to that little conniving male bitch that she was on to his games, then she would be disappointed. The plan quickly backfired on her.

First, because a colleague of Lucas's told him in passing that he had seen Lucas's girlfriend out walking with some stranger, a woman he had never seen before and he wondered who it might be. Lucas had asked him to describe the "woman" and got quite cold as he at once recognized Lynn on the description.

He confronted Erica about it and finally she confessed the whole thing. They had the biggest row and didn't talk for a week other than the absolute necessary job talk. Lucas was not happy, this relationship was turning into something else entirely than he had hoped for and Erica showed tendencies for jealousy that he found quite unnerving. Not to mention how this affected his job situation and Lucas was sensitive about his job. He wanted foremost to do a good job; he would never get one like this again.

Then Lynn got ill. Really, really ill. Weak as he was from the start walking barefooted outside for a few hours in near wintertime had not been a good idea. He got the worst flu, a sore throat, a dry cough that would stay for months; runny nose headaches fever… the works. He didn't have the strength to even crawl out into the bathroom for a time; Lucas had to walk him there. He made a slow recovery and stayed in bed for weeks.

Erica nearly choked on her own bitterness seeing Lucas tend to Lynn every free minute he got and spending all that money to buy him half the chemist shop to try and ease it up for him. And as the weeks passed her hate for Lynn became something festering inside of her. She was determined not to let it show though. It didn't work. Lucas could not be dealt with that way. She had made a mistake making the first move. She would not do something to Lynn again. She would wait until he did something to her. And she was sure he would sooner or later, because one thing she knew and that was that every feeling of hate despise bitterness and jealousy she felt towards that strange half man was exactly mirrored in him. He felt the same about her.

Though she failed to realize one thing. For all his bodily weakness Lynn had had a lot of practicing in the art of suffering. He was quite resilient.

And things just seemed to go downhill for her. All her pent up frustrations was taken out on Lucas and they fought all the time and at work things started to be more and more professional between them. No more stolen moments in the bathroom out in the hall. No whispered endearments and secret signs under the table at meetings. And even though she nearly lived at Lucas's place they hardly ever had sex. And Lucas was an ungrateful bastard. Sitting her down one night telling her that she really didn't have to work so hard for him here at home and that he would actually prefer it if Lynn did the cleaning and cooking like he always had.

Everything felt wrong and the only thing she wanted were for things to be like they had been in the beginning, but what ever she tried they wouldn't. Everything was that fucking clone's fault. And that fucking worthless shit wouldn't even make the slightest mistake so that she could make Lucas see the truth about him.

Yes, Lynn was resilient; he would not be the first to break.

>>> * <<<

Even though Lucas felt that things were very wrong between him and Erica and though he sometimes even thought of maybe break it up with her, he would not have been unfaithful. It wasn't such thoughts that made him touch Lynn again.

Maybe it was just that the sex had been so bad lately, maybe because he felt a bit sorry for Lynn always looking at him with longing eyes though he probably thought Lucas didn't notice. Maybe because he still found Lynn attractive. Maybe because Lynn was his damn property and what fucking difference did it make if he just gave him a short nuzzle at that thin neck of his and felt that silky blonde hair of his against his cheek. What difference did a playful squeeze make? None at all, if she hadn't happen to come into the room and seen it.

>>> * <<<

She had not said a word and just left for her own apartment. Lynn had watched Lucas run after her and try to talk to her but she had banged the door in his face. Lucas had been in a terrible mood the rest of the night and gone to bed earlier than usual. Lynn had felt he ought to stay out of the line of the fire and had not bothered Lucas, but he had not let it out on him, strangely enough.

Lynn had been in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. And finishing he had thought he would do the same thing as Lucas and go to bed. And then he had put the light out and turned to leave… And nearly bumped into her.

She just stood there staring wildly at him and the shock of the sudden appearance and the wild look in her face froze him, paralyzed him.

"You bitch!"

Her fist shot out and landed in his face and he spun around and fell over a chair, both he and the chair crashing to the floor with a loud noise. She was over him the second after. Straddling his chest. Screaming like a siren and raining hits on him in a hysterical manner yelling that she would kill him, kill him if it was the last thing she did. And Lynn couldn't gather himself enough to even try and get away. His hands limply trying to fend off her fists. And he screamed too in utter fear and then there was a third voice screaming and a shadow descended over them both in the darkness and tried to rip the demon that had attacked him away. She wouldn't let go. She clenched her legs around Lynn's ribs and she shot out both her hands towards his face and buried her nails into his flesh.

Erica screamed that she hated him and Lucas yelled at her to let go and Lynn just screamed and as Lucas finally pulled her away he felt her dug in nails tear up his whole face.

Lucas flung her against the wall and it nearly knocked the wind out of her. It calmed her down a bit though and breathing heavily she stared at Lucas. He looked shocked and angry.

"Are you crazy? Are you fucking crazy? What the hell are you doing?" He yelled at her.

"Me? What am I doing? What about him… he… he…" She was too upset to speak it seemed, pointing at Lynn who huddled at the floor weeping and holding his badly clawed face in his hands.

"I've had it Lucas," she screamed, "I have had it with that damn bitch. I can't stand it anymore. He's got to go. I'm telling you Lucas; it's either him or me. Do you hear me? It's him or me!"

Lucas didn't answer. He stared at her, lips in a thin line and then he grabbed her arm and pulled her along. Lynn heard the door slam shut and there was total silence in Lucas's apartment except for his hitched sobs as he pressed his hands to his face and rocked back and forth on the floor like he had went silly.

Lynn knew only one thing hearing her shouting out that ultimatum… that his life was over.

>>> * <<<

When Lucas came back Lynn was nowhere in sight. He called out for him but there was no answer. Lucas wondered if he had walked off. But he didn't think so. It was late and he had been hurt. Not too bad he hoped. Lucas worriedly searched through the whole apartment and finally he found him. He was huddled up in a fetal position on the tiled floor of the shower. Pressed into the furthest corner and hidden behind the shower curtains. He held his arms pressed to his face and there were bloodstains on them.

Lucas said his name again but there was no reaction. Gripped by the same fear he had felt that time when Lynn had tried to kill himself Lucas slid to his knees and yanked the arms from his face. But there were no wounds on them; the blood was still from his face.

"For goodness sake Lynn…"

Lynn tried his best to fight Lucas about covering his face again, but hardly stood a chance against Lucas's strength. He ignored his pleas that Lucas would not look at him and examined his wounds. Christ, he thought seeing the deep gashes, glass fiber nails should be classified as weapons and be outlawed. Lynn had four gashes on each cheek one of them barely missing his eye. He didn't think any of them were deep enough to need stitching but it looked like hell never the same. It would leave some scars. Fucking bitch…

Lucas wet a towel and told Lynn to hold it to his face, an order he seemed glad to obey and then, since he couldn't really get through to him, Lucas eased his arms under Lynn's knees and his shoulders and carried him to his bed.

He went back out into the bathroom to get a first aid kit and when he returned Lynn seemed to have fallen into some state of total indifference. He did not protest as Lucas gingerly pulled the now bloodstained towel from his face. He hardly moved a muscle as Lucas cleaned the wounds thoroughly though it must have hurt as he drenched them in antiseptics. Lucas winced looking at him. Jesus, she had made a better work in destroying Lynn's face in a few seconds than Craig had done during all those years. When he was finished he tried to tape it together as best he could. Better take him to the infirmary tomorrow morning anyway. He stayed at his bedside looking at him.

"You know Lynn… I know your looks are important to you and all that… but I don't care. Really I don't. There'll be some scars I won't lie to you, but it really doesn't make any difference to me."

Lynn didn't react and didn't even seem have to heard him. Lucas shrugged and thought he ought to leave him alone for a while. He went back to bed but couldn't really fall asleep again so finally a few hours later he looked in on Lynn again, he was still lying exactly as he'd left him and didn't seem to have moved an inch. Lucas sighed. Did he get so damn upset about those wounds? He wasn't that badly hurt.

"I told you," he said irritably, "It doesn't matter." Lynn turned his head then, away from him.

"I'll be hard to sell…" he whispered.

"What?" Lucas grinned but then he got dead serious in a wink. Oh, of course. He had heard her too. He went to sit down at the bedside again.

"I can't see how you could have failed to notice that I came back alone Lynn." He said and waited for this to sink in. After more than a few heartbeats it seemed to have and he turned with a more than confused look in his eyes.

"She didn't return with me, did she? I broke up with her Lynn. She won't be coming back." Lynn still looked at him as if Lucas had been talking a foreign language.

"I don't like it when people give me ultimatum's, Lynn I kind of react badly to that. I kind of don't like it when people knowingly try to destroy my property either. She gave me an ultimatum Lynn and she had to face the consequences." Still no reaction other than that bewildered look.

"I choose you, OK, I chose you over her." That did the trick, Lynn bolted right up.

"You won't get rid of me? I can stay?" Lucas grinned.

"You are beginning to sound like a broken record how many times do I have to have this conversation with you?" He turned serious again though and put a hand on Lynn's thigh.

"You are staying Lynn and she's not… but let me rephrase what I said before. It wasn't completely true that I chose you over her. It was more like I didn't choose her, period. Do you know what I mean? I will not keep to only you. It won't work, and I don't want to. I need women from time to time Lynn and I will date them. Do you understand?" Lynn nodded solemnly.

"Erica… she wasn't the right one for me Lynn, that was the real reason to why I didn't chose her when she gave me that ultimatum. I was in love with her I suppose in some way, but I guess I knew all the time that she was not the Mrs. Right you know. If she had been, it would have been a hard choice. Though I guess if she had been she would not have put me in such a situation…" Lynn listened hard from the looks of him, trying to understand.

"What I'm trying to say is that one day she might come. Mrs. Right I mean, she might come one day and well… I just can't promise you anything Lynn not about that. But until she comes… if she comes you will come first."

"First?" Lynn repeated eyes big as saucers. Lucas smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I tell the women I'll meet right away hereafter that you're here and that I occasionally sleeps with you and they will have to deal with it and if they don't… too bad for them. That's all I can promise you, can you live with that?"

Lynn nodded slowly, tears streaming down his scratched cheeks. Lucas smiled widely then and flung his arms out.

"Jesus, you sentimental old fool. Come here you sissy!"

Lynn flung himself in Lucas's embrace then, reveling totally in being encircled by those strong arms. There were no words to express how much he had missed Lucas's touch and he just couldn't stop crying. Of course he could live with that. It would not be hard at all, he would be so happy, and when Mrs. Right showed up it wouldn't bother him, wouldn't bother him at all…

…because when she did, he would slit his wrists…