Chapter 8

Lucas hailed a cab outside the hotel. There was no need for them to walk the two miles to Shamrock now they had so much money. Besides, Lynn was obviously in pain; he hadn't made a sound of complaint but he had to be sore. Lucas was silent on the way home, but as soon as they had gotten inside their door, he put a hand on Lynn's shoulder and assured him that he would never have to serve Craig again. And that they would go to the clinic first thing tomorrow and have him checked up. That was more than Lynn could handle right now. Before Lucas had finished speaking he was crying, hard. Lucas let him go on and even gave him an awkward hug. He hated it when Lynn cried, it made him embarrassed and awkward but he never had the heart to tell him to shut up either. He hated to feel guilty about being the one making him cry too. He should never have agreed to this. "What did he do to you really?" he asked as Lynn slowly ceased the weeping. But Lynn looked so pleadingly at him that it was quite clear he didn't want to talk about it, and Lucas let it pass for the time being. He would question him about it, all right, but it could wait. He told Lynn to go and use his bed and get some rest. >>> * <<< They were just back from the clinic and Craig had been right - it really had not been a serious injury. There had been a few tears, but the bleeding had stopped by itself and the doctor did not need to stitch him up. But he had been strict about forbidding Lucas as much as touching Lynn for at least two weeks, preferably three to be on the safe side. And he should bring him back and have him examined again soon. Lucas had felt more than ashamed at the doctor's accusing look. Last time they had been here the doctor had commended him on treating Lynn so well, considering the circumstances they lived under. But this hardly helped him seem a better person in the eyes of the doctor. There was no use in blaming Craig either. Lucas had let it happen and Lynn was his responsibility. And why had he let Craig do it? Because he had wanted that job so bad? Yes, Lucas admitted that was it. He had sacrificed Lynn again and it was OK, he could do that, Lynn was nothing, not worth a damn thing… Only to Lucas that was not quite true anymore. Well, he couldn't change things now. He had to try and compensate Lynn a little, but first he wanted to know exactly what had happened. He would not let Lynn off the hook; there was obviously more to tell. Lynn had said nothing about all the bruises. Lucas had not seen them yesterday when he crawled down beside Lynn to go to sleep. He had not seen them until Lynn had undressed in the examination room. It had not been a pleasant surprise. The whole examination had been painful to watch. He had not wanted to watch. He had not watched all the other times. But this time the doctor had demanded he stay. Seemed he thought Lucas should see what he had caused. And Lucas had been embarrassed as the doctor had parted Lynn's ass cheeks so that Lucas could see the crusted blood caking in the crevices; he had looked away as the doctor had stuck his fingers into Lynn's hole, stretching it carefully to examine the damage done. And Lucas had wished he had been able to close his ears as well so he didn't have had to hear Lynn's sobs of pain at the probing. "Now I want to know exactly what he did to you, Lynn," Lucas said, strictly enough to make Lynn understand that not answering was not an option, but still friendly so Lynn wouldn't think he was angry with him. "How did you get that giant bruise on your hip?" Lynn looked down but answered obediently. "He pushed me against a marble table, Master, he wanted me to bend over it…" "I see. And he couldn't just have told you, could he? As if you would have disobeyed. Well, go on! What about all the other bruises?" Lynn blushed a little. "It was nothing, Master, really, he just grabbed at me while thrusting… I bruise so easily." Lucas shook his head. Lynn almost defended Craig, why? "OK, he told me he didn't hit you, was that true? And don't you dare lie to me." Lynn gulped, looking uneasy. "He didn't, I swear. Not really… I mean…" Lynn hesitated. Craig smacking him in the head had technically been hitting him but it had been nothing really, not worth mentioning, but he neither dared nor wanted to lie to Lucas. "He… he kind of smacked me once though… over my head… but it was truly nothing, Master, I swear, it didn't even hurt or anything." "You don't say? And why did he do that? Had you in any way behaved badly?" Lynn wished he had, that would have been so much easier to explain. "Not exactly, Master… at least I don't think so… He said… said that I should not try to think with… what I have in here and then he smacked me… here…" Lucas snorted. "Typical of Craig. Why did he say that? What did he meant by that?" Now Lynn really didn't want to talk about this anymore. If Lucas made him repeat all that Craig had said he couldn't stand it. Lynn didn't even want to think about what Craig had said, let alone say it. But he gathered and tried because he couldn't disobey when Lucas stared demandingly at him. "He… he said I was stupid and… and that my brain is made small and that I am stupid to think that you would…" Lucas cut him short. "He said your brain is made small?" That did not make sense, Lynn must have said that wrong, but Lynn nodded. "He said they made my brain smaller than real people's…" Lynn looked down and blushed. "Who? Who made your brain small? I don't get it." "The scientists… who cloned me…" he whispered. Lucas stared at him, but then he had to lean back and laugh. He really tried to quench his mirth because poor Lynn looked devastated, but he really couldn't. "Look, Lynn," he finally managed to press out. Craig was such a bastard but he couldn't help laughing at this. "Look, he was pulling your leg, OK? That isn't possible. No scientist can change the size of a human brain. They cloned you, but they can't change you that much. If they had succeeded in that, you would not have lived at all, or you would have become a monkey or something. Your brain is perfectly normal, and you're not stupid, Lynn, I've told you, just uneducated." Lynn got red as a beet. Oh, he was stupid all right and gullible too it seemed. Lucas finally managed to stop laughing and got serious again. "Now back up a little, Lynn, you said something else. You're stupid if you thought I would… what?" Lynn wanted to sink through the floor. He hadn't really meant to say that and he had hoped Lucas hadn't heard it. He shook his head, he couldn't say it and Lucas got annoyed. "You had better answer me Lynn, I won't tell you twice." "He said I was stupid if… If I thought that you… you… cared…" Lynn seemed to shrink at each word and talked more and more quietly. But then his head flew up, pure distress in his eyes. "But I have never thought that, I swear. I am not assuming anything Master… but he said that as soon as you get that job you would… would..." Lynn cursed inside, as he couldn't hold back the tears. "He said I would get rid of you, right?" Lynn nodded, unable to answer. He was deathly afraid that Lucas would answer that. Answer and answer wrong. Telling him that yes, Craig is right, I don't need a whore to support me anymore if I get that job and no way would I keep a stupid slave like you around if I didn't need to. "I see… You do realize that he said that only to fuck with you, don't you? I know I have only told you that I can't promise anything, and that we will have to see, and things like that when the question has come up." Lucas leaned back again. "To be honest, Lynn, I've had my doubts if I should keep you or not. I thought that if I could sell you for a large enough sum I would… Please stop crying, Lynn, it's making me damn uneasy, try to act like a man for once and listen to me, will you." Lucas sighed, looking at the sobbing blonde trying to get his act together. "That was before. Now lately I wouldn't want to be rid of you for the world. I promise. It just hadn't crossed my mind to tell you. You've been a source of income, sure, and if I get that job then yes, I won't need you anymore… for that! But you do have other qualities as well, Lynn." He smiled reassuringly at him. "You've spoiled me, Lynn. I didn't like being waited on before, found it damn silly, but I admit I've grown quite comfortable with it, though I don't need to be waited on hand and foot all the time - I'm not handicapped, you know. And I kind of like having someone around, too. Could get myself a cat I suppose, but they talk even less than you." Lucas grinned and managed to lure a very weak and small smile out of Lynn in reply to that. "You have caused me a lot of trouble. But not like you think, and I am not blaming you. First it was mostly that I didn't know how to afford you. And in keeping you I have had to face a lot of moral problems… still do. I am still not used to this. I haven't enjoyed having to sort this out, but I guess I will learn from it. But things get better, don't they? We are kind of learning to get along here, aren't we?" Lynn nodded, amazed at his master's words as so often before. No one else had ever talked to him this much. No one had ever bothered to explain things to him. No one had ever talked about themselves to him. "Besides, Craig is simply wrong. I do care what happens to you. We are not equals and we can never be. I won't even try. But that doesn't mean that I don't give a shit about you, Lynn. I know what it's like out there, do you really think I would send you out there just like that? In a crisis I might sell you, Lynn, if I knew you would be well treated. But I doubt you would ever be, anywhere. You're valuable to me, Lynn, but on the market, let's face it, you're not worth shit anymore, pretty as you are." Lucas paused. "It doesn't matter if I get that job or not. You think I would use you in this awful way for this long only to cast you aside as soon as I don't need you anymore? You shouldn't listen to Craig, Lynn. He would have done that in a blink, but we are not the same kind of person, him and me." Lucas smiled widely. "I think I will stick to the few pieces of property that I have." It was quite evident looking at Lynn that he was moved beyond any words, and Lucas felt awkward. The poor thing got that moved just for what he promised not to do. Lucas suddenly got up and left for the bedroom, but he was soon back. "Here you are," he said and put something in Lynn's hand. Lynn looked down in amazement at two hundred credit's bills. "They're yours. Do what you like with them. I've always planned to give you a piece of the cake when there was enough of it, and with the 2000 Craig gave us there is definitely enough." "But… but… I've never… I don't know how to handle money Master." Lucas laughed out loud again. "Well that's something that you have in common with those rich bastards that you grew up with. They have not a clue how to handle money either. You're more alike than one thinks; none of you have any idea of the worth of money. Take it and buy yourself something. There has to be something that you want? Clothes? Earrings? Waste it by all means, you are certainly worth it." Lynn squeezed the pristine bills in his hands and could hardly gather enough to thank his master for the unexpected gift. It had happened before that people had given him stuff as if from some whim. But never ever had anyone given him money. Lucas never ceased to amaze him. >>> * <<< Lucas had not gone out to get customers for several days, so he was surprised to say the least when someone knocked at the door. It couldn't be Craig; he had called a few days back to tell Lucas he was going home. Lucas opened the door warily and peeked out the crack. Damn, they guy from the tattoo parlor, he had totally forgotten about him. He let him in though. Lucas had to explain why he couldn't have Lynn now, and offered to pay the money he owed instead. The tattooed young man looked rather disappointed. He turned to Lynn who huddled on the stool in the corner where he usually sat when he had nothing to do. "I'm sorry to hear that, man, that sucks! What a total bastard. I hope you will get better soon." Lynn didn't say a word; he had never received such a comment in all his life before. A polite expression of sympathy that could have been exchanged between two equals. Lynn decided he liked this man. He was kind of good looking too. Young with a slender well built body, nutmeg eyes. Yes, really good looking underneath the tattoos. The guy lingered and turned back to Lucas. "You don't suppose I could… Well, couldn't he like give me a blow job only or something and you only have to pay half the price?" But before Lucas had time to answer, the tattooed guy seemed to think that he had asked the wrong person. He turned back to Lynn. "What do you say?" Lucas straightened up and looked a bit offended, like he was about to tell the guy that it was certainly not Lynn's business and that he made those decisions here. Lynn thought the same thing and cowered at Lucas's frown; he didn't answer. The tattooed man realized he had put a foot in it and gave an embarrassed smile. Lucas's frown melted away. "He asked you a question, Lynn," he said. Lynn stammered an excuse. Not again, he thought, please not again. Lynn didn't want to be forced to make such a decision again, like with the old man with the chains. Lucas had said he didn't have to decide when it came to the customers, so why? "It's not for me to decide," he softly explained to the young man, "I do what I'm told to do." They could both see how that answer made the tattooed guy uneasy. He turned to Lucas. "Uh… you know… He's damn pretty, really but… It just feels wrong to do anything against his will. You think it's some sort of kick, but in reality…" Lucas smiled. "I hear you… Look, he really doesn't have any legal rights to refuse anything, but don't think that I am usually forcing him to do stuff, I'm not, really." Lucas turned to Lynn. "It's OK, Lynn, I'll let you decide for yourself what you can handle. I mean it; I'm not playing games this time. You really don't have to answer the way you think I would want you to, because I really do not care which. No one is going to be pissed at you, Lynn, if you say you can't take it." Lynn cast him a quick glance before looking down again. "I don't mind, Master," he said softly, and the tattoo guy lit up. "Really?" Lynn nodded and smiled a little. "Yes, sir, it's OK by me, sir…" The tattooed guy cut his assurances short with a triumphant outcry and shot Lynn the widest smile. Lynn was a bit taken aback, constantly having new situations to deal with. Never ever had anyone so happy just for the chance to have him. Lynn couldn't resist smiling back at the young man. So Lucas sent Lynn to the bedroom and gave the guy half the money he owed for piercing Lynn's ears, plus a lecture about what he could and could not do. They guy nodded impatiently to all Lucas had to say and then he rushed after Lynn with a few comments on the go. "That's quite a pearl you've got here, man. What a smile!" Lucas sat down at the kitchen table and watched the door to the bedroom close. He had to find something to amuse himself with here in the kitchen for a while, he guessed. Lucas felt a bit odd. Lynn had been quick to obey, hadn't he? Weird. He was still in pain, Lucas knew that, and even if he wasn't supposed to use that part of his body right now, Lucas would have thought he would have been more reluctant to do anything at all like that. Maybe he had agreed to it just because he thought Lucas wanted him to, maybe he had not quite believed him after all? But it had not seemed like that had been the case. No Lucas could have sworn that this time Lynn had wanted it. As if he had really liked the guy. Lucas did not know why this thought disturbed him so much. And that irresistible smile that Lynn was capable of, it was damn hard to lure it out of him. Lucas had not managed to make Lynn smile like that many times and he had never seen it directed towards a customer before. So why had Lynn suddenly smiled like that at this guy? Ha? Like for no damn reason? >>> * <<< Every Saturday and Sunday morning before Lucas woke up; Lynn went a few blocks down the street to the old and overgrown park nearby. It must have been a pretty place once, but now there were mostly weeds growing here, and the trees were half-dead from pollution. It was a small park with a big fountain in its midst but it wasn't functioning. It was full of dead leaves and Lynn had never seen any water in it. Lynn remembered the perfectly maintained gardens at Amahana; it felt strange that this was the closest he would ever get to something like that again. He liked going here anyway. At least this early in the morning when there were no people here. He saw traces of people here though. Winos, drug addicts and whores frequented this park; he had understood that from the empty bottles he saw, from the used syringes and from the sticky condoms thrown in the bushes. He supposed this was really a dangerous place, but so far he had hardly seen a living soul here. He walked the same round every time and usually came home around the same time before Lucas woke, so that he had time to make him breakfast. He knew Lucas had said he didn't have to but he wanted to anyway. Going home, he looked down the steep streets at Shamrock Square. You had quite some view over the whole square from here, and on the weekends there was usually an outdoor market there. He liked watching the colorful noisy market from afar, but had never considered going down there. Why would he? He couldn't buy anything, and besides, he didn't like crowds if he wasn't with Lucas. Lynn was generally afraid of people; according to Lucas, he had better be in these parts. Seemed to be nothing dangerous about the market, though, and things were different today. Today he could buy stuff. Today Lynn had two hundred credits stuffed in his jeans pocket. He wasn't quite sure why he had brought the money, but he had been carrying it around for a while. At first when Lucas had given it to him, he thought he would put it in his cardboard box under the kitchen sofa and forget about it. Thought that maybe he could save it, and then one day if Lucas got very short on money, he could give it back. But for some reason he had taken it with him. It was stupid, he knew that. What if someone robbed him? There were many people around here who wouldn't have hesitated to cut his throat for that sum. But he thought that surely no one would suspect someone like him carried any money. He had not really planned to use it, but before he knew it he was walking to the market. He was just going to take a closer look, he told himself. Just a quick look, he wouldn't bother anyone, he wouldn't draw any attention, and he wouldn't use the money… His heart was pounding with excitement and nervousness as he sneaked around between the stalls, eyes downcast, trying not to bump into anyone. Imagine that all these people could walk around as they pleased without having to be scared. It was natural for them. He wondered what that would be like. He felt a bit bolder after a while. No one seemed to notice him. He started to look closer at the objects being sold, still being very careful not to get in anybody's way. He reached a stall selling clothes; it was interesting, he thought, and he stopped to look closer. He had never seen clothes like this before. Colorful playful teenage fashion. Flared pants with big flowers on. T-shirts with writing on, skimpy tops with crazy prints. No aristocrat would dress like that. He liked it though. There were a few dresses too. More elegant ones, party dresses which looked to be more expensive. One of them was really pretty, he thought. It was black and shiny and kind of billowed in the wind like a night shadow or like black water. If you had been a woman… He started violently as a voice in his ear snapped him out of his musings. There was a man right in front him, speaking to him. "Hey, Blondie. I've seen you staring at that dress for a few minutes now, want to try it on?" He could not have been more at a loss for words or more embarrassed. Was this man angry with him? Was he in the way? Did he disturb real customers? But no, the man was smiling looking amiable. He wanted to sell, Lynn thought and he had not seen that he was just a slave. Lynn looked up carefully. Wow, he thought, he was a customer. And the salesman obviously thought he was a woman too. "Oh… thank you, sir, but I…" Lynn's soft evasive answer was not the way to handle a Shamrock street market salesman. He had already turned to pull the dress down. "Of course you should try it on," he said, smiling even wider and holding the dress under Lynn's nose. But then suddenly he stopped smiling, looked suspiciously at Lynn and leaned in to examine him closer. "Hey… you're not a girl, are you?" he asked, a bit of insecurity in his voice. But as he saw Lynn blush hotly he stood up straight and laughed. Lynn expected him to shout at him next; telling him to go away, but the salesman leaned over him again and winked knowingly at him. "Oh yeah, you're a boy, aren't you? Jesus, you could have fooled me… in fact you did, you fooled me." In spite his words the man was not angry but very amused, even Lynn could see that. "And something tells me you are not shopping for your girlfriend either, right? Yeah, I'll say… there's all sorts of people here nowadays." He rolled his eyes but smiled amiably still. "Don't worry, I don't care. And I can see in your eyes that you want this dress, Blondie. I'll give you a good price, 120, how about that? It's not much for a dress like this you know, look at this fabric!" Lynn felt quite helpless before this man's babbling and couldn't find a word to protest. Besides, it was true; he did want the dress, crazy as it was. The salesman misunderstood his silence and his bewildered look. "Ah, what the hell… How about an even hundred then, especially for you, Blondie." And Lynn couldn't have explained how it happened for the life of him, but a few minutes later he was climbing the steep streets, speedily walking home carrying a small rustling plastic bag. In it was the midnight black dress. He really, really hoped Lucas would still be asleep when he came home. He was, and Lynn thanked God and put the dress, plastic bag and all, at the bottom of his cardboard box, hiding it underneath the other stuff. After only a few seconds of hesitation, the other 100 bill went the same way. Better not carry that around anymore. Boy, had he proved that he could not handle money or what? Buying that dress had been pure and utter madness. Who the hell did he think he was? He was a worthless gelding, that was what he was, not a woman. Having this dress was an insult to any real woman; he should be punished for doing such a stupid thing. All he wanted to do now was to hide the damn thing away. He hoped Lucas would never see it. He would be so embarrassed if Lucas saw it, and his master would be angry too, sure he would. Lynn was not that lucky. Not that Lucas regretted giving Lynn the money, but he had meant to ask him what he had done with it; it had just slipped his mind lately. He had told him he could waste it, but maybe that had been a bit rash; after all it had been quite a lot of money. He hadn't noticed that Lynn had done anything with it, but better ask him anyway. Lucas found him in the bathroom. He was scrubbing the tub. He was on his knees on the tiled floor and wore nothing but his old worn jeans; the legs rolled up to his knees. He was all wet and his hair was put up in a loose bun on top of his head. He stopped scrubbing when Lucas came in, but didn't rise. "About the money I gave you, Lynn… Just out of curiosity. Have you bought something with it?" Lynn shook his head and said he hadn't. It just came out. He hadn't planned to lie really. His master looked at him and he crumpled to the floor. He didn't believe him; of course he didn't believe him. How could he be so stupid as to lie his master right to his face? "I… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to lie… please forgive me… I don't know what I was thinking…" Lucas frowned. "But what the hell are you lying to me about? Have you lost it?" Lynn shook his head in earnest. "No, Master, I still have a hundred left…" "Well, what did you use the other for that is so bad that you have to lie to me? Don't lie to me, Lynn, if you don't want to piss me off. You won't get away with it anyway, because you must be the worst liar ever, admitting it before I have even accused you of lying. I wasn't going to." Lucas had to laugh. "Just for that… I won't punish you. But don't do it again, OK? Well? What happened to the other money? If you lost it it's a shame but it can't be helped, I won't be mad." Lynn sat up straight then but dared not look at Lucas. "I… I bought something." Lucas looked surprised. "Aha, you did buy something. And you haven't showed me? Well then, what is it? Dry yourself off and go get it! Yes, right now, you can finish that later." Lynn did the only thing he could do, obeyed, but it wasn't exactly with a light heart. This would be embarrassing, hard to explain and downright humiliating. He hoped it wouldn't be painful as well. It wasn't easy to walk back into the bedroom and hand Lucas the plastic bag. Lucas took it and looked in it but he couldn't quite see what it was. Some kind of clothing item. What was so bad about that? He pulled it out of the bag and shook it out… a stunned expression on his face. A dress? A silk evening dress? He gingerly held it up by its thin shoulder straps and turned it back and forth. It was a dress all right, a really elegant one. A long dress, no sleeves, made of the softest and blackest of silk. It was the kind of dress Lucas would have liked to see on any beautiful woman. He kept staring at it, at a loss for words. Then he looked questioningly at Lynn, who was taking the height of redness of human skin to new record levels. Lucas didn't know how to react for the life of him. What in the world had got into Lynn? Why had he bought this dress? Lucas decided he was not angry though, maybe more amused. Or maybe he just felt sorry for him. "Lynn, dearest…When had you planned on using this?" Lynn was about to burst into tears but Lucas wasn't going to allow him. "Oh no, don't you act like a damn kid. I'm not angry, but you had better explain this. What in the world went through your mind buying this?" Lynn tried his best not to give in to the tears. "I don't know, Master… I really don't know." Lucas held it up again. It was a damn nice dress. Seemed Lynn had some taste. "You want to be a woman, Lynn?" he suddenly asked. "I mean a real woman?" Lynn shook his head. He didn't want to admit that. That would be awfully conceited, wouldn't it? "I know what I am, Master… I wasn't trying… I don't know what I was thinking… please forgive me?" The room fell silent. Painfully silent, Lynn thought, who wanted Lucas to say something. "Yeah? So why don't you try it on, then?" he finally said and held it up for Lynn to take. Lynn hardly believed his ears, was he serious? He became even more ashamed, thinking that he deserved this taunting. He had to be grateful that Lucas hadn't hit him for it. "Since you bought it…" There was no spark in Lucas's eyes. He was dead serious. Lynn took the dress then, put it carefully on the bed while he pulled the wet jeans off and stood naked before Lucas. Lucas waited. Lynn had never put on a dress before and fumbled awkwardly with it for a while before getting the hang of it. Finally he got it over his head, got his arms on the right side of the thin straps and let it fall. It was a sensuous feeling when it glided like water down his body; he had never felt such fabric against his skin before, so cool and smooth. It gave him goosebumps but in a good way. Why could only women wear such things? That feeling was forgotten soon enough, as he got extremely self-conscious. He must be a ridiculous sight. His weak and pathetic body in a dress like this. There was nothing to fill it out at the front, and he imagined how ugly his scarred back must be, seen through the low cut back. And he was too short, he realized. The dress was dragging at the floor. He dared not take a step for fear of tripping over the hem. Lucas shook his head, grinning. This was silly. A man in a woman's dress was silly, wasn't it? He felt like laughing, but he did his best to stifle it. He couldn't laugh now, it would be cruel. Wasn't Lynn embarrassed and humiliated as it was? He had not meant to humiliate him, that was not why he had ordered him to put the dress on. In fact, Lucas could not tell why he had made him wear the dress. It had been sort of a whim. And it was pretty evident it wasn't made for the likes of Lynn, with no breasts to fill it out. And it was way too long for him. It was made for a tall woman, wearing high heels, and Lucas did not think Lynn could be more than 5'4" tops. But apart from that… The dress fit, hugged his thin body as a second skin. And the shiny structure of the fabric kind of accentuated the femininity of Lynn's body in way that normal clothes didn't. Lynn was skinny, too skinny, Lucas thought; he ought to force him to eat more, but suddenly he looked kind of curvaceous. "Turn around!" Lucas ordered, feeling not at all like laughing anymore. Lynn did as he was told. Lucas noted too that the scars were a bad match to the dress, but the rest of Lynn's skin wasn't. The pallor of his skin was a very nice contrast. And Lucas could not stop staring at Lynn's ass. Lucas became quite embarrassed himself, as he realized how much he stared at that tiny but nevertheless deliciously rounded ass and the shiny fabric hugging it. Something stirred in Lucas's pants. "Uh… let your hair down, will you? No! Don't turn!" Lynn reached up to pull at the bun of hair on top his head. The dress was drawn up a bit and pulled at his ass cheeks; his back was arched. Lynn unfastened the hair band and the silky mass of blonde hair fell to cover his whole back. He shook his head a bit to get it out of his eyes and the ends of it glided back and forth… back and forth over his ass… That was it for Lucas, he had not a reasonable thought in his mind, and before he had a chance to think it over he rushed over to Lynn and pressed himself to him. It scared the hell out of Lynn. Lynn had not seen Lucas's stares, had not seen the bulge in his pants. Lynn had not seen him dash over; that Lucas would react that way had never occurred to him. He thought Lucas grabbed at him to beat him up, and the attack was sudden enough for him to give a scream of pure fear as he raised his arms to protect his head. Lucas grabbed at his arms, pulled them down and held them fast against his sides. Lucas pulled him even closer and whispered in his ear. "There, there… calm down, ain't going to hurt you. Didn't mean to scare you…" Lynn slowly understood, while Lucas kept talking soothingly into his ear, that his master wasn't angry at all. Quite the opposite, as Lynn now felt his hardening cock pressing at the small of his back. The dress had turned him on? Lynn's heart was still beating hard from the fright of the "surprise attack," but all fears were gone now, replaced with happiness and excited expectation. Lucas turned him around and covered his face in kisses while he gently walked him backward to the bed. When Lynn got the edge of the bed at the back of his knees, he fell on it. Lucas followed without ceasing the kissing for a second. Lynn was quite unable to control himself, and he answered those kisses in a way he would never have dared had he been the least sane. Lucas's hands were all over him with an almost desperate frenzy and Lynn threw his arms around Lucas' neck as if he never wanted to let go again. Later he would be ashamed about it, and he would be afraid for days that Lucas would punish him for it, but at that moment he couldn't have cared less. Lucas might not have minded. Lucas might have been too damn horny to notice anyway. Reluctantly, Lucas pulled himself out of Lynn's grip to raise and unbutton his jeans before he threw himself back in Lynn's arms. He went slower now, taking the time to enjoy the sensations of kissing Lynn, of caressing his lithe little body while he carefully pulled that dress up. As he got it up to his waist Lynn got the hint and parted his legs, pulling them up to rest at Lucas's shoulders. Lynn was clawing at the sheets; he was so desperate for Lucas to fill him up. He would any second now; he could already feel Lucas' cockhead push at the entrance… Oh any second now and the closer the moment came the more desperate he felt, like the only reason for existing was for the moment when Lucas would engulf him, press him down and fill him up completely. There, as if one with Lucas's body, was where he wanted to be. The only place in the world where he would feel safe. And so he closed his eyes and held his breath and welcomed this fusion, this his Nirvana… It didn't come… Lucas just dropped him like a hot potato, rose and stepped away. As he looked up in astonishment Lucas was looking down at him, all flushed and sweaty, looking almost wild-eyed. He was still aroused, his cock still blood filled, proudly risen, leaking precum. But why then? Oh God, what had he done…? "Damn! Shit!" Lucas cursed loudly and disappointedly. He threw himself on the bed next to Lynn, who looked like he might be dead, were it not for the hitched breathing. Lucas turned to him and embraced him. "I'm sorry, Lynn… I can't believe I nearly did that… God, you're not healed and… Damn, I didn't mean to be so egotistical. Thank God I pulled back in time… I would have hurt you so bad." But then he looked a bit angry. "Why the hell didn't you say anything? Were you just going to let me tear you apart? And not say a thing? For goodness sake, Lynn." Lynn was just lying there like he'd turned to stone in both body and mind. He heard what Lucas was saying, he understood his reasons, but he still could not handle this disappointment. He felt like he had been hooked up to a respirator and someone had just pulled the cord on him. It had been so close… What the hell did he care about his wounds, what the hell did he care about the pain? "It… it would have been all right, Master…" he said, voice almost breaking. "That's not what the doctor said. You want to feel that pain for several more weeks?" Several more weeks, yes. Several weeks where he could not bring any money in. Suddenly Lynn let himself be flooded with bitterness. "I'm not in that much pain anymore. I can go back to work soon…" Lucas was silent for a while but then he pulled him closer. "That wasn't what I meant, Lynn. I just don't want to cause you pain, that's all. You think I could stand making you bleed? God, if I had proceeded and… I don't want that on my conscience, Lynn, not that too…" Lynn was more than ashamed but he would never have thought that… "But… but it wouldn't have mattered Master… I wouldn't have cared." Lucas looked surprised. "You want it that much?" Lynn nodded and looked away. "It… it would have been an honor…" "An honor? An honor? Are you fucking crazy? We use you, Lynn, all of us, as if you were an inanimate object. You have to know that. No matter what training they gave you, not even you can possibly consider that an honor." Lynn cowered. Why was it that every time he said something he thought was right Lucas got pissed? "It… it… it's an honor… if you do it, Master…" he insisted stubbornly. "Why is it an honor if I do it?" Lucas asked. Lynn blushed and thought that Lucas would have to beat him to death to get him to answer that, because if he told him he would kill him anyway. Lucas did not push it; he seemed to change mood completely and chuckled a little. "Well, I am really sorry that I can't let this "honor" befall you tonight, Lynn, that's just the way it is. But if you really are so intent on playing, then maybe you would consider not giving me less of a treatment than you did that tattooed guy the other day?" Lynn stiffened at that comment and looked like he was about to beg for forgiveness for stealing a bit of pleasure for himself. Lucas hushed him and pointed to his cock, which had gone a bit flaccid, though not completely. "You think you could breathe some life into my little friend here again?" If he could. Lynn smiled and said to himself that he would give his master the best blowjob he had ever received or die trying. About an hour later when they were resting, Lynn lying at Lucas's arm, both sweaty and sated, Lucas's thoughts went in the same directions. Lynn must know every trick in the book and it seemed he had tried to use them all to please him. It was touching in a way, sad and a bit unnerving in another. But he was fascinated. Lynn had literally sucked him into exhaustion and made him come twice. He was quite sure Lynn would have succeeded a third time, but Lucas had stopped it. Somewhere inside he still thought it was wrong, liking it this much. Lucas was absentmindedly twirling his fingers in Lynn's hair with one hand while he caressed his hip with the other. Lynn was still wearing the dress. "I want you to wash this dress up and hang it in my closet," he said. "It shouldn't be all crumpled up in a cardboard box." "Yes, Master. I will do that… and… and I can wear it again if… if it pleases you?" Lucas grinned. "By all means, it did, but let's put it away for a while, ha? I don't think you should have too much of the good stuff, you know? Like really expensive wine… best enjoyed in small quantities… Hell, you know how to tire a man out that's for sure. I can't believe how you do… whatever it is that you do…" Lucas silenced, feeling yet again very embarrassed about discussing such things with another man. In some strange way it was far less awkward doing it than talking about it. "I mean how can you take so much of it… without, you know? Throwing up and all?" Lucas supposed he was not the best equipped man, but he really had nothing to be ashamed of, and he had watched with a mix of fascination and almost horror how Lynn had taken it all down his throat. All of it. Lynn had let the muscles of his throat work for him; Lucas had never experienced anything like it. It had been wonderful but at the same time almost a bit frightening to be "swallowed whole" like that. Embarrassing or not, Lucas was curious now. "I've been well trained, Master." Lynn said softly. "Trained?" Lucas asked, feeling a bit self-conscious about his naivete. He had assumed that it was a "talent," or maybe a quirk of your anatomy that you happened to either have or not. "I was really bad at it at first, they told me I was probably worthless but that I was too pretty to waste… they trained me well…" Lucas noted how flat his voice became, like he talked of someone else that he couldn't care less about. "What did they do?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer. "They tied me up, they used silk shawls so it wouldn't chafe, and then they stuck things down my throat. If you do it often enough your vomiting reflexes cease to work, eventually. It happens fast for some, but for me… it took some time." Lucas was totally speechless but Lynn went on as if he was talking to himself. "And they forced my mouth open. I didn't want to defy them but it was so hard. And they stuck their fingers down my throat, and when I was about to throw up they pulled them out and let me catch my breath for a few seconds, and then they repeated it… over and over again… for hours. And sometimes I did throw up. I couldn't help it and they got so mad at me for doing that. Eventually they couldn't reach far enough down my throat…" "What did they do?" Lucas gulped; he didn't want to know really. "They used dildos…" Lynn's voice got even colder and more detached. "I couldn't breathe then, but they didn't care, they just held it there until Ì got blue in the face. I had to learn how to breathe with those things down my throat or die…" Lucas didn't think he had been more shocked in all his life. "Jesus Christ… that's… that's torture… How… how old were you?" Lynn shrugged. "I must have been 12… maybe 13." Lucas was too upset for words and couldn't quite control himself. He sat up and pulled Lynn with him, holding him at arm's length in front him. "Is this true, what you're saying? That's fucking sick. Are you lying to me?" Lynn had not expected a reaction like that, it was evident. "No Master… no, please. I'm not. It's… it's what they do to us all, that's just something that a gelding should be able to do…" Lucas fell back onto the pillow, embracing Lynn hard. He couldn't even imagine how horrible that must have been. That had been torture, nothing else but torture, and Lynn had only been a child. They hadn't even meant it as a punishment. It had been a part of "the training". Lucas felt sick. "Oh Lynn… If I had known… I wouldn't have let you do it…" "But… but it's all right now, Master. Once you learned, it was not that hard anymore. I am happy to be able to do it now. And without it… I would have been worthless from the start… they would have wasted me…" Lucas was still shook up. "It's not all right Lynn, never. They really should abolish the whole system. Things like this should not be allowed to exist. It's too late for you, Lynn, you already exist, but they really shouldn't make more like you."

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